Today I'm doing some light reading - which is including materials on various trim methods. This is a weekly if not daily thing for me lately. I've learned so much since this blog started that I have trouble putting it all into words.
Diego's hooves have undergone an onslaught of assaults from various sources for over a year now, and we find ourselves this week - sitting on the 6 month anniversary of his most recent (and worst) laminitic attack. I am clinging rigidly and (understandably) desperately to all dietary and environmental restrictions to keep D from having another attack right now - but as the months creep by and we finally start to see progress through the dreary daily routine: I have finally started to feel a little more hope.
We're 6 months out and this time, for sure, I am confident that we have good hoof form. As good as it can get really. I haven't had the money for Xays in a year now, so I've had to wing-it by just reading the external hoof signs as well as I can. I constantly scrutinize his sole, his gait and measure the collateral grooves, looking for more depth. The last and most frustrating piece to fall in place has been his soundness. His last event in August left him barely able to drag himself from the paddock to the grooming area and back. Boots and pads only made it moderately better. It was horrible to watch him have so much pain just walking...
We made huge strides (har har) though, and by November he was comfortable - trotting, galloping and bucking with his girlfriend. It was a sight to see! December brought cold nights though, and with his damaged vascular system in his lower legs & feet started giving him issues. He had significant amounts of pain, his legs stocked up from not moving all day long (due to hoof pain) etc. I added some dietary supplements to help - but nothing is a cure. It's still just as cold out now in February, but at the new facility D is kept in at night (not ideal to me but the lesser of several evils I was faced with in moving him), where the temperature is consistently 10 degrees warmer than the outdoors. Guess what... no leg swelling! No owwie hooves with warm coronary bands! YAY!
Try as I might to provide Diego with a more 'natural' lifestyle, it's becoming increasingly apparent that certain domestic 'comforts' are needed to give him the ability to live a decent life after the Cushings hammered away at his body unchecked for 5 years and laminitis ravaged the blood vessels in his hooves. So far this has included blanketing, wrapping the legs and being stabled at night. So I continue down this road of discovery: hopefully with less judgement about "right and wrong" horse management and attached dogma. >.>'
Ok... so maybe this wasn't as much about hooves as I'd intended to write. ;p
I just reread the first post on this blog from 2010 discussing his hooves. What a long way we have come! Few if any of the problems we faced then haunt us now (except heel contraction, but that's possibly a life long pathology by now IMO). I am forever thankful for Marian's willingness to educate me at a time when D and I really needed it.
Amusing event for the week: I got a call from the barn manager early yesterday morning on my cell and promptly panicked (having just read a lovely study on Nitrate poisoning complete with graphic photos). As it turns out she was calling to give me a bit of amusing info. Diego has been introduced to his handicapped herd, but so far they have yet to accept him. There is an evil little pony who attacks everyone (horses and humans alike) who has it out for Diego. Diego finally decided somehow that the pony suddenly held no threat over him anymore and promptly turned his butt to the pony and shot him a "talk to the tail" look. Said pony was so distraught by this that he ran himself around the entire turn out area. I'm sure his ego was greatly damaged by this. I was told Diego had taken up trotting a little with the foals. I couldn't be happier for him... finally... progress!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Friday, February 1, 2013
New Beginnings... Again
The week has come to a slow and steady closing, and I've found myself mulling over things in the late afternoons on my drive to see Diego.
I was thinking about this blog the other day, thinking what I originally wanted to accomplish with it, and how that has taken a long, windy detour.
In 2010 and 2011 I got a hint... a taste at training 'high school' dressage, with an older, cynical horse. I got a taste of a better relationship - a soulful partnership and a couple big lessons in humility and ego reduction.
2011 & 2012 were more about me, in an odd sense. Granted Diego was still in the picture, but being sick and constantly in rehab put the burden on me to be the protector/advocate/caretaker. This has drawn on every fiber of my emotional and physical being. I have sat and cried, screamed, shamefully had complete temper tantrums, and laid in bed with the awful guilt and crushing depression that comes from growing angry and resentful at the very being you are trying to save from death... Everything in my life, EVERYTHING has taken a backseat to him since August 2011. Finances have dwindled down to nothing and I find myself struggling even now to get my head above water. A somewhat harsh way for Fate to force me to grow up, but effective none the less. I have come so far in my ability to care-take and be a confident advocate. We just switched barns, again (yes we're both getting tired of this) and I recently reflected on old emails to our old barn owner. I was a totally different person last January. So many unknowns, and so indecisive in the face of uncertainty. I had significant trouble holding my own against the judgement, opinions and also honest questions of others, I spent excessive amounts of time verbally mulling over Diego's various conditions, possible solutions, etc. and quite frankly confused alot of people in the process! I've learned how to better convey information now, as well as how frequently I need to reevaluate processes and situations for profitable results. I'm not the shaky, scared person I was a year ago, cautiously looking for a better year: I didn't get one anyway. I got a year of all NEW problems, 2 medical crashes etc. on top of the same 'ol issues we were already dealing with. Now however, I'm done with holding my breath and crossing my fingers in hopes more bad things don't happen. I've decided that bad things will happen: and when they do [this] is what I'm going to do about it - and that's that. For everything else? There's a little blue pill that starts with and F ~ I can take a good dose of that. ;)
So aside from getting a firm boot to the rear by Fate along the road of growth... did I mention how much I've learned?
I remain surprised and even humbled today thinking about it. It wasn't so long ago that I was the one uncertain, scared, frustrated... needing my questions answered.
I think here would be a good place to put a plug for the group that helped me get through the darkest parts of Diego's disease and recovery:
Dr. Eleanor Kellon & Robin Siskel's group for Cushings and Insulin Resistant horses:
http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/EquineCushings/
Through this group I also met another woman locally with a similar story to myself and Diego. Her support has meant the world to me when I felt like nobody else understood how hard this battle can be.
So here's to 2013... another new beginning. Hopefully this time, we're on the way to being better than ever!
I was thinking about this blog the other day, thinking what I originally wanted to accomplish with it, and how that has taken a long, windy detour.
In 2010 and 2011 I got a hint... a taste at training 'high school' dressage, with an older, cynical horse. I got a taste of a better relationship - a soulful partnership and a couple big lessons in humility and ego reduction.
2011 & 2012 were more about me, in an odd sense. Granted Diego was still in the picture, but being sick and constantly in rehab put the burden on me to be the protector/advocate/caretaker. This has drawn on every fiber of my emotional and physical being. I have sat and cried, screamed, shamefully had complete temper tantrums, and laid in bed with the awful guilt and crushing depression that comes from growing angry and resentful at the very being you are trying to save from death... Everything in my life, EVERYTHING has taken a backseat to him since August 2011. Finances have dwindled down to nothing and I find myself struggling even now to get my head above water. A somewhat harsh way for Fate to force me to grow up, but effective none the less. I have come so far in my ability to care-take and be a confident advocate. We just switched barns, again (yes we're both getting tired of this) and I recently reflected on old emails to our old barn owner. I was a totally different person last January. So many unknowns, and so indecisive in the face of uncertainty. I had significant trouble holding my own against the judgement, opinions and also honest questions of others, I spent excessive amounts of time verbally mulling over Diego's various conditions, possible solutions, etc. and quite frankly confused alot of people in the process! I've learned how to better convey information now, as well as how frequently I need to reevaluate processes and situations for profitable results. I'm not the shaky, scared person I was a year ago, cautiously looking for a better year: I didn't get one anyway. I got a year of all NEW problems, 2 medical crashes etc. on top of the same 'ol issues we were already dealing with. Now however, I'm done with holding my breath and crossing my fingers in hopes more bad things don't happen. I've decided that bad things will happen: and when they do [this] is what I'm going to do about it - and that's that. For everything else? There's a little blue pill that starts with and F ~ I can take a good dose of that. ;)
So aside from getting a firm boot to the rear by Fate along the road of growth... did I mention how much I've learned?
- In a year's time I've done a 7 month apprenticeship under a local barefoot trimmer, with aspirations to start my own business.
- I'm also completing my first class on equine nutrition, with aspirations to do nutrition on the side.
I remain surprised and even humbled today thinking about it. It wasn't so long ago that I was the one uncertain, scared, frustrated... needing my questions answered.
I think here would be a good place to put a plug for the group that helped me get through the darkest parts of Diego's disease and recovery:
Dr. Eleanor Kellon & Robin Siskel's group for Cushings and Insulin Resistant horses:
http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/EquineCushings/
Through this group I also met another woman locally with a similar story to myself and Diego. Her support has meant the world to me when I felt like nobody else understood how hard this battle can be.
So here's to 2013... another new beginning. Hopefully this time, we're on the way to being better than ever!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Red Dragon is Sick :(
Every time I think about chronicling my journey with Diego,
inevitably I’m not around a computer. My computer usage is down these days
anyway, as is my ability to write coherently.
For the past 10 months now I’ve been overloaded with the care
taking responsibilities that Diego requires. Long story short – last August he
got laminitis, and that was only the beginning. I started a journey to try and
get this horse back to his TRUE nature, mentally and physically. It’s been a
huge puzzle but we have made significant strides toward a healthier body for
Diego. He is Cushings it turns out, and that has slowly been destroying muscle
and soft tissue in his body for years and weakening his immune system. That was
a big part of the puzzle and the driving factor behind his laminitis episode.
The rest of my long, dramatic journey that fall was not so
interesting. It included the constant struggle of me trying to get D’s symptoms
under control (by controlling his diet & environment) and dealing with
moving barns TWICE and the judgment of horse owners who disagreed with my
methods for treating Diego.
I’m happy to report that we moved to someone’s backyard on 5
acres. We’re now pretty relaxed and happy again (D has a girlfriend named
Sadie). Now I’m trying to simplify my life again, and do damage control on our
relationship. I became a very angry, very stressed, unpleasant person to be
around with Diego over the months we were going through all this. Miraculously
he stuck with me through it, but there is a defensive layer of mistrust that
has formed between us again and it really bothers me (mostly because I know the
fault is with me).
Yesterday, I took the time out to drag a lawn chair out into the yard
and sit, holding D’s leadrope under the shade trees for awhile. He sniffed me,
checked in so to speak and then went to dozing. I think he was in pain (long
story, his hooves are sore and he pulled a muscle 2 weeks ago), but he seemed
happier to stand than to be walking elsewhere with me. I can only hope some
part of him remembers sitting with me all the time in that little shed barn at
our old place.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
A Second Look at Teeth
I said recently I'd catch up on subjects that haunted Diego and myself through this grueling winter... one of the 3 major subjects is teeth. I hesitated to write much about it since most people are fairly educated nowdays about having their horses teeth done, but then again I thought maybe my few lightbulb moments might help someone else along the way.
During an ordinary vet check up I had D's teeth floated in November, before the cold set in. I was pleased to see that it's becoming popular to use an electric machine/rasp now instead of just using a hand rasp (I have seen way too many vets get tired & make mistakes or jab horses to the point of major bleeding with old methods). I was also pleased to get to watch and see that the hooks were taken down.
So by December when Diego started dropping some serious weight I immediately blamed the food. Not enough hay (which was true but another story), not enough calories, etc. I struggled the rest of the winter with what I saw as severe weight issues in Diego. Using the Body Condition Scoring system I'd say he hovered around a 3.
As you might guess the food was only part of the problem.
By March during Diego's 2nd or 3rd adjustment, the chiropractor noted lots of extra inflammation & soreness in his jaw and poll areas. Not 3 days later D choked on his (thoroughly soaked) beet pulp. I was able to dislodge it, but 3 days after that he choked AGAIN and I had to call the vet, talk it over and finally administer Banamine to him. I'm very lucky that's all it took, I've seen a horse tubed and I'll never forget it. I emailed my chiro asking if the soreness could have contributed to improper chewing and she said possibly and referred me to a dentist she trusted. (Tim Cherry, in the FL area)
Here is an older brochure from his practice -
I called him and we met the first week of April. I'd been pulling the beet pulp from Diego's diet and super-soaking every bit of food in utter paranoia. Tim's a very nice man, and looked D over, asked some in depth questions and went to work, explaining and showing as he went.
After quite awhile of working and balancing things out this is what he had to say:
- Despite the fact that the hooks had been floated off the edges of the teeth, Diego had "ramps" still. Meaning if you were to look at the molars from the side the beginning molars and ending molars would both curve UP to form a ramp instead of a straight line as they should. This caused HUGE problems chewing, as the top and bottom teeth couldn't meet properly to grind!
- Further, Diego's incisors were not touched. They were still quite long, and their length versus the shorter length of the molars created yet another imbalance in Diego's mouth and ability to chew.
- He described the horse as having 3 points of "balance" in their skull: The TMJ joint near the poll (surprise surprise), the seat of the molars, and the place where the incisors meet.
Since the middle point was unbalanced it made it harder on the TMJ joint particularly when functioning. He also said that horses need to be able to chew their food into 1/16th of an inch particles to be able to properly digest them! He mentioned if you're seeing whole grains in their manure (I had been seeing oats), chances are something is not allowing them to chew properly.
Wow...
I have to say since then Diego has been chewing very efficiently and has been gaining weight by leaps and bounds. The dentist recommended a dental check every 9 months for horses in light work, so we'll be seeing him again this next winter. I hate to rag on the local vets, but I am just not having alot of success with many in my area currently as far as the health of my horse. This cements yet again the need to do your research and have some idea about the issue at hand while you oversee professional work, and though they're more expensive consider that specialists often can get the job done correctly, the first time. Good recommendations from trusted, forward thinking horse people are worth their weight in gold.
During an ordinary vet check up I had D's teeth floated in November, before the cold set in. I was pleased to see that it's becoming popular to use an electric machine/rasp now instead of just using a hand rasp (I have seen way too many vets get tired & make mistakes or jab horses to the point of major bleeding with old methods). I was also pleased to get to watch and see that the hooks were taken down.
So by December when Diego started dropping some serious weight I immediately blamed the food. Not enough hay (which was true but another story), not enough calories, etc. I struggled the rest of the winter with what I saw as severe weight issues in Diego. Using the Body Condition Scoring system I'd say he hovered around a 3.
As you might guess the food was only part of the problem.
By March during Diego's 2nd or 3rd adjustment, the chiropractor noted lots of extra inflammation & soreness in his jaw and poll areas. Not 3 days later D choked on his (thoroughly soaked) beet pulp. I was able to dislodge it, but 3 days after that he choked AGAIN and I had to call the vet, talk it over and finally administer Banamine to him. I'm very lucky that's all it took, I've seen a horse tubed and I'll never forget it. I emailed my chiro asking if the soreness could have contributed to improper chewing and she said possibly and referred me to a dentist she trusted. (Tim Cherry, in the FL area)
Here is an older brochure from his practice -
I called him and we met the first week of April. I'd been pulling the beet pulp from Diego's diet and super-soaking every bit of food in utter paranoia. Tim's a very nice man, and looked D over, asked some in depth questions and went to work, explaining and showing as he went.
After quite awhile of working and balancing things out this is what he had to say:
- Despite the fact that the hooks had been floated off the edges of the teeth, Diego had "ramps" still. Meaning if you were to look at the molars from the side the beginning molars and ending molars would both curve UP to form a ramp instead of a straight line as they should. This caused HUGE problems chewing, as the top and bottom teeth couldn't meet properly to grind!
- Further, Diego's incisors were not touched. They were still quite long, and their length versus the shorter length of the molars created yet another imbalance in Diego's mouth and ability to chew.
- He described the horse as having 3 points of "balance" in their skull: The TMJ joint near the poll (surprise surprise), the seat of the molars, and the place where the incisors meet.
Since the middle point was unbalanced it made it harder on the TMJ joint particularly when functioning. He also said that horses need to be able to chew their food into 1/16th of an inch particles to be able to properly digest them! He mentioned if you're seeing whole grains in their manure (I had been seeing oats), chances are something is not allowing them to chew properly.
Wow...
I have to say since then Diego has been chewing very efficiently and has been gaining weight by leaps and bounds. The dentist recommended a dental check every 9 months for horses in light work, so we'll be seeing him again this next winter. I hate to rag on the local vets, but I am just not having alot of success with many in my area currently as far as the health of my horse. This cements yet again the need to do your research and have some idea about the issue at hand while you oversee professional work, and though they're more expensive consider that specialists often can get the job done correctly, the first time. Good recommendations from trusted, forward thinking horse people are worth their weight in gold.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Small Victories
It seems like only yesterday when I read through my horse diaries (online and offline), I was complaining about the disconnect between myself and Diego. Then on the other hand it seems like a thousand years ago...
I haven't had to go out and "catch" Diego this whole week. Despite my conversations with another boarder over the horses general clingyness in winter, changing to disinterest in humans by spring/summer with the coming of fresh grass and lots of sunlight: Diego is still meeting me at the gate. There are times he actually trots even... especially if he's alert already. All I have to do is call and emphatically prance in place and he breaks into a trot to meet me at the gate. Our extensive, repetitive work on haltering (using clicker training) has made the "catching" process and ritual he looks forward to. I usually open the gate and let him through without the halter, into the catch pen and then close the gate behind him. He's so entrenched in our routine that he goes through and turns around to wait for me, then starts reaching for the halter. He knows as soon as the halter goes on = click + treat and he arches his neck and poses accordingly.
I find it rather amusing actually... considering the barn owner tends to think my giving of treats equals a bribe or poor training. I know that's a common belief...
My goal last year was to make the greeting & haltering process more enjoyable for Diego. Plain and simple. He has never been hard to catch, but the disinterest and half hearted mental connection with me due to a forced haltering usually carried on in our work together during the course of a training day. I felt discouraged. I made the decision to make haltering rewarding and pleasant instead of demanding and "Ok hurry up, I have stuff to do." It has paid off beyond belief... He's happy to greet me and eager to be haltered and begin our interaction, and for me it caused me to shift mentally from "Uhg let me halter you and drag you back to the barn" to "Oh hello! Look how pretty and happy you are! Glad to see me?" he loves to impress with his neck arching and whuffling.
I'm sure plenty of horses will respond similarly to haltering without clicker training or even a treat - but this is what it took to bring a shut-down, formerly man-handled, cynical 20+ year old gelding out of his shell. It changed him thoroughly. I wish the barn owner, and accordingly others who judge this sort of thing, could look deeper and see the small victories achieved. This is a big milestone for us.
Likewise training has been good this week. I'm not asking alot right now because he had a chiropractor adjustment Sunday, so he had a few days off at the beginning of the week. I think the lack of heavy-impact work (riding) and the abundance of in-hand work at the walk without pressuring him into a stiff, uncomfortable trot have caused him to feel really good, and it shows in his attitude. This can be annoying sometimes - when he's feeling good he often forgets manners and tries to crowd, nip (for play), and snatch objects out of my hands (whip, lead, bag etc.). Some people may question my sanity on allowing some of this, but it is a gradual process for us. I know my horse, we've been together 15 years. I had to invite him out of his shell in his entirety (the good, the bad and the ugly), before I begin to teach and shape what he shows me.
He had to know "It's ok, just be yourself."
I've neglected to update after all the recent events we've been through: vets, chiropractors, feed changes & dentists. I am most definitely broke! I'm paying for mistakes made earlier in his ownership though, through ignorance. He's gone a long time with some injuries and health issues I didn't know about because I never bothered to check. Look for an update soon... as well as an update on my treeless saddle I've been fitting to him!
I haven't had to go out and "catch" Diego this whole week. Despite my conversations with another boarder over the horses general clingyness in winter, changing to disinterest in humans by spring/summer with the coming of fresh grass and lots of sunlight: Diego is still meeting me at the gate. There are times he actually trots even... especially if he's alert already. All I have to do is call and emphatically prance in place and he breaks into a trot to meet me at the gate. Our extensive, repetitive work on haltering (using clicker training) has made the "catching" process and ritual he looks forward to. I usually open the gate and let him through without the halter, into the catch pen and then close the gate behind him. He's so entrenched in our routine that he goes through and turns around to wait for me, then starts reaching for the halter. He knows as soon as the halter goes on = click + treat and he arches his neck and poses accordingly.
I find it rather amusing actually... considering the barn owner tends to think my giving of treats equals a bribe or poor training. I know that's a common belief...
My goal last year was to make the greeting & haltering process more enjoyable for Diego. Plain and simple. He has never been hard to catch, but the disinterest and half hearted mental connection with me due to a forced haltering usually carried on in our work together during the course of a training day. I felt discouraged. I made the decision to make haltering rewarding and pleasant instead of demanding and "Ok hurry up, I have stuff to do." It has paid off beyond belief... He's happy to greet me and eager to be haltered and begin our interaction, and for me it caused me to shift mentally from "Uhg let me halter you and drag you back to the barn" to "Oh hello! Look how pretty and happy you are! Glad to see me?" he loves to impress with his neck arching and whuffling.
I'm sure plenty of horses will respond similarly to haltering without clicker training or even a treat - but this is what it took to bring a shut-down, formerly man-handled, cynical 20+ year old gelding out of his shell. It changed him thoroughly. I wish the barn owner, and accordingly others who judge this sort of thing, could look deeper and see the small victories achieved. This is a big milestone for us.
Likewise training has been good this week. I'm not asking alot right now because he had a chiropractor adjustment Sunday, so he had a few days off at the beginning of the week. I think the lack of heavy-impact work (riding) and the abundance of in-hand work at the walk without pressuring him into a stiff, uncomfortable trot have caused him to feel really good, and it shows in his attitude. This can be annoying sometimes - when he's feeling good he often forgets manners and tries to crowd, nip (for play), and snatch objects out of my hands (whip, lead, bag etc.). Some people may question my sanity on allowing some of this, but it is a gradual process for us. I know my horse, we've been together 15 years. I had to invite him out of his shell in his entirety (the good, the bad and the ugly), before I begin to teach and shape what he shows me.
He had to know "It's ok, just be yourself."
I've neglected to update after all the recent events we've been through: vets, chiropractors, feed changes & dentists. I am most definitely broke! I'm paying for mistakes made earlier in his ownership though, through ignorance. He's gone a long time with some injuries and health issues I didn't know about because I never bothered to check. Look for an update soon... as well as an update on my treeless saddle I've been fitting to him!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
3.18.11 ~ Falling
Today I was thinking about the risks we take when riding; More specifically the big falls – the ones that leave us with scars for life or give us really good stories to tell people later. Early March is the anniversary of one of the most serious falls I’ve probably ever had, it’s been 2 years and still sometimes feels like it happened yesterday.
I grew up riding at a very busy Huntseat barn that specialized in children & lessons. There were heaps of ponies always coming in to be turned into lesson ponies or to be trained and sold, along with a small amount of thoroughbreds/warmbloods for the older teens. Needless to say with the number of new/green horses coming in and out there were many mishaps, spills, runaways etc. and we kids grew used to being prepared for the unexpected. I still remember my first big fall – it was on a sweet old school master. She was trotting around the ring and tripped on a stone, going down to her knees. I was thrown over her shoulder and landed on packed red clay dirt. I remember seeing sky and a really sharp pain and then not being able to breathe and crying a lot because I couldn’t breathe. Of course after a few minutes I was forced to get back on and continue my lesson.
I’ve always had a slightly nervous personality, so I take to the fence on whether I think one should be forced back onto a horse after a fall. I think that really depends on the fall, the horses’ mental state and the humans’ mental state. I can say many times being forced back onto the horse I learned to swallow fear and just do what I was told. Other times I did was I was told but was terrified. And a small handful of times I didn’t get back on. Now that I’m older though, I see no benefit in pushing myself into that fear if the situation does not call for me to continue that day (IE schooling in a ring versus out on a trail, far from home).
There are those falls that make the best stories possible… we love to shoot the breeze and talk about them. Sometimes they shock and often amuse others, especially those of us that have shared in similar experiences, and they provide a booster to us mentally: we overcame something. We survived and kept going even when it was really scary. I remember a pen-pal group I belonged to as a child where we talked about riding. A poll came up about how many times we’d fallen off a horse and you could tell the girls were trying to be ‘the best’ by competing for the least number of falls. One girl actually said ‘0’.
My answer? “Too many to count.”
My pride wanted to be the best but I had to be honest, and my philosophy now is: if you haven’t tasted dirt numerous times from a horses back… you need to. Only when one falls can they learn how NOT to fall. When you’re a flexible child is often the best time to learn this. I have stories of actually flying through the air, horizontal to the ground and hitting a jump standard on my way down… stories of clinging to a horses neck like a monkey and bailing when a tree would have surely smashed my face, the list goes on.
Then you have the events people are less likely to offer upfront: the ones they quietly keep or they mention with lowered serious tones. Falls that changed their view of horses, themselves or their physical capabilities. Something that humbled them even.
I guess until 2 years ago I’d never really had a fall that humbled me, per se.
Diego had been our horse for 13 years and in that time I’d never fallen off of him - except 2 very embarrassing situations where I dismounted and failed to land on my feet. ;)
We were having a Pony Club clinic at our barn and I had worked that morning as a safety inspector for the kids. (ironic no?) During the afternoon our duties were over and I figured I would get Diego out and ride on the front lawn (we had a temporary dressage ring set up). Excitement was everywhere with ponies and children trapsing through the barn aisles, the weather was warm and it was windy... and the horses were spooky and excite-able. I should have noted that but I was caught up in the atmosphere as well, and admittedly a small part of me wanted to show off. I never rode much infront of an audience, which usually meant people were clamoring to watch if I was actually riding in plain sight on the lawn.
Now I had begun experimenting with the idea of Piaffe at the time (for those of you who don’t know what that is: it’s a Dressage move where the horse appears to almost trot in place). Now, realize how incredibly faulty my understanding was at the time: I was figuring that naturally I could use the reins to slow Diego’s tempo to a jog and push him into more “bounce” and impulsion through leg and the whip. I don’t know why I thought this would work, I honestly did not think it through or consider how to teach the lowering & tilting of the pelvis, etc. and all this had produced to date, was a flat, tense jog. That day though the temptation to capture Diego’s jigging and prancing was just too great... so I started: hold in the bridle / drive with the legs. Upon the bridle becoming rigid a common thing happened - D shut down and his jig disappeared. Annoyed, I gave a quick tap with the whip... no response and no upward transition... nothing. Even more annoyed that we’d “lost it” I gave a sharper ‘sting’ with the whip. Apparently that was all he needed that day to truly tell me how he felt: he bucked, exploding underneath me.
I was thrown up in the air and let me tell you - I have had the experience of seeing a horse from 12-18” up in the air before and that limbo is not a fun place. I landed haphazardly on the saddle pommel, and then slipped to his neck. He was moving around rather violently though, normally by this time he would have been still but he wasn’t havin’ any of it this time... in my desperate attempt to stay on I remember a tangle of reins as I fell over his inside shoulder, hurdling towards the ground. I don’t remember hitting the ground actually. I remember the feeling after ground-impact - an ache all over, and regaining consciousness: seeing the brim of my helmet stuck into the dirt and smelling the grass in my face... feeling the burning scrapes on my right arm from skidding across the ground. I felt slightly dizzy as I looked up and gingerly pushed myself up. Diego was 3 strides ahead of me in the arena, reins dangling, looking wild eyed. We eyed eachother for a second, then he tucked his rear and bolted towards the barn with an “OH this is not good!” look on his face.
About that time I heard shouting and saw my friend running full-tilt across the lawn toward me, followed by some people I didn’t know. She was next to me in an instant asking if I was ok, could think clearly, if I felt any sharp pains anywhere, lifting up my clothes and checking me all over (she’s a mom), and then a man I didn’t know kneeling next to me saying he was the father of one of the children and a surgeon. I felt sore by then, feeling was starting to come back and some things hurt a good bit... my rear, my back, my skinned arm...and my hand. I looked down at it and gasped: my left hand between the thumb and forefingers was puffed out atleast 1.5” past normality in a sickening lump. I moved it... it hurt, and was incredibly tight. The surgeon took to examining it while my friend slowly helped me up.
I won’t go into the rest of the day’s story but I will say nothing was broken... miraculously. Everyone though I should be in alot worse shape: apparently what had happened was I had fallen UNDER Diego, his hooves had bruised me all over. My arm was skinned from sliding, but my ribs, back, tailbone and the back of my legs were all bruised from getting tangled with his hooves! The hand is still a mystery - no one saw exactly what happened to it and we all say surely it would have broken if he’d stepped on it.
It took weeks before I could even use my hand in a normal way again and it took probably 2 weeks for my arm to heal and my body to be normal again. And after that it took a year, for my hand to be able to function normally without pangs in the area between the thumb and forefinger.
In the meantime, Diego had a good few weeks off. This was not one of those situations where I got back on, and later when I did, riding had changed drastically for me.
There’s something about that very real knowledge that you CAN in fact come off of YOUR horse that for some reason, shook me to the core this time. If you’ve ever had a traumatic moment you are probably familiar with the flashbacks... the muffled sound, the sights, the smells of that particular moment. Ever since that fall the vision replays itself when I find myself scared of a situation on Diego’s back. Every.single.time. While in one case it helped (he ran away bucking, at a dead gallop in a pasture and I decided I was not coming off again), but in most it just plain paralyzes me. I’m slowly finding nowdays that there’s no need to push anymore... and no need to do anything past what we’re both comfortable with. (and no need to smack him with the whip anymore) With more honesty (about fear) and trust built between us, I’m slowly able to branch out again... it’s made all the more meaningful by how far we’ve come. And it put a pin directly in my pride-balloon - deflating the arrogant idea that Diego was too old and weak to ever be able to throw me from a walk. O_O Never underestimate horse-power!
A few points worth mentioning:
*Sometimes horses are quite justified in their “misbehavior”, it’s too easy to be cocky sometimes.
*Helmets save your brain - I’ve said this over and over and it still proves true. There is still a mark from Diego’s hoof on my helmet from that day.
*Broken trust CAN be rebuilt, just don’t rush it.
*When you find your confidence shattered: take matters into your own hands instead of listening to the textbook methods - sometime the most simple exercises help heal. Just sit on your horse for the sake of sitting & spending time together.
*Admitting you’re going to fall off atleast once (and try to not get hurt) ends up putting you at ease more than being fixated on NOT falling off at all.
*It never hurts to practice emergency dismounts. I have done several since The Fall and done it safely. It helps give confidence and reminds you of your physical limits and capabilities. Despite what some people say: I don’t believe there is any shame in bailing.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
3.9.11 ~ The Weight of an Older Horse
I’m definitely not a newbie to caring for an older horse; we got my pony, Checkers between the age of 14 & 16 and cared for her till her death at 24 (joint/leg complications took her, not age). But she was an easy keeper all her life though, so hard keepers are a bit of a puzzle to me in general.
Diego has seemingly made the switch from easy keeper, all of his life to a slightly harder keeper as far as his weight is concerned. We’ve had alot of hurdles to overcome in the past 6 months concerning his health: he was malnourished when he arrived at our current barn in June. Coat was decent but not too shiny, his hoof wall was terribly, dry, cracking, his skin was prey to constant fungal infections and was super slow to heal from even the smallest scratches or cuts. He became a pasture 24/7 horse last June and once I added a ration balancer supplement back to his program I started to see major improvement by Sept/Oct. I would have seen results within the first month but I made a mistake on the dosage <embarrassment> and did not up the dosage till Sept. Summer and fall that was all he needed to be healthy and maintain a proper weight: grass & ration balancer about 4-5 times a week. (1lb for light work)
Winter came though and this is our first winter together since being in a pampered barn with a stall every night. I admit I did not take the advice of putting weight on him before winter as seriously as I should have and I regret it. It’s too hard to try and put/keep weight on at the last minute, preparation for winter should begin in October if not before. Ideally once the grass dies and even before that, which for us living in southern USA, is around December - horses should have access to hay 24/7. According to Diego’s body weight he needs atleast 19lbs a day to maintain healthy weight & gut health. Unfortunately this winter we have had troubles at my barn obtaining enough hay and keeping it out there constantly for the horses. While Diego isn’t in any immediate danger he has gone through winter much thinner than I prefer and it has had me stressed and worried for far too many months. Work, family life and other commitments keep me from being able to come out everyday to feed. Sometimes I feel very guilty, like I’m not being responsible enough for his well being. =(
Now because of the lack of hay issue, I am having to look into alternative ways to put weight on him. To some people this may not be unusual, or a big deal, but to me it’s very unnatural (for him) and frustrating. Horses were not meant to ingest large amount of commercially processed grains. While he might go the whole winter with no adverse side-effects (IF I choose the feed wisely and limit the starch & molasses) from excess amounts of grain my instincts tell me this is not the way to go. How many people out there have been faced with non-ideal feeding situations with their horses at boarding facilities? I find myself really wanting to hear their stories right about now. I have opinions thrown at me from all sides and it can get very overwhelming. I face judgment sometimes from all sides as well, no matter what decision I finally settle on. Most people are well meaning but also all of them think they know what’s bets for my horse. *sigh*
________
The options I have settled on for now are: Beet Pulp & Rice Bran Oil.
I started D on ½ cup of vegetable oil and then moved up to a homemade mixture of coconut & canola oil. My trimmer pointed out that canola is higher than certain other oils in Omega 6’s though which can promote inflammatory responses in the body. With D’s arthritis that’s something I definitely want to minimize. I’ve switched to rice bran oil currently and may continue to use coconut. Uckele.com has a coconut/soybean oil combo for about $18 which was tried and tested for us many years ago (and met taste approvals of our horses) so that’s an option too. As of last week he is now up to 2c. A large amount I know but it’s not permanent - I am looking for improvement and will drop back to 1c for maintenence.
The beet pulp from what I hear is slow to put weight on but reliable. Just this week we have moved up to 4lbs of it (dried, shredded measured). The trick for me is of course managing his intake - he is fed in one meal 4-5 times a week, so that presents a challenge of not overloading his stomach at one time. I break it up into 2 feedings over a 2hr period:
*2-3lbs beet pulp upon my arrival, before our work
*2lbs beet pulp + 1lb ration balancer + oil & hoof supplement before I leave
We'll see how this goes...
****************************
Diego has seemingly made the switch from easy keeper, all of his life to a slightly harder keeper as far as his weight is concerned. We’ve had alot of hurdles to overcome in the past 6 months concerning his health: he was malnourished when he arrived at our current barn in June. Coat was decent but not too shiny, his hoof wall was terribly, dry, cracking, his skin was prey to constant fungal infections and was super slow to heal from even the smallest scratches or cuts. He became a pasture 24/7 horse last June and once I added a ration balancer supplement back to his program I started to see major improvement by Sept/Oct. I would have seen results within the first month but I made a mistake on the dosage <embarrassment> and did not up the dosage till Sept. Summer and fall that was all he needed to be healthy and maintain a proper weight: grass & ration balancer about 4-5 times a week. (1lb for light work)
Winter came though and this is our first winter together since being in a pampered barn with a stall every night. I admit I did not take the advice of putting weight on him before winter as seriously as I should have and I regret it. It’s too hard to try and put/keep weight on at the last minute, preparation for winter should begin in October if not before. Ideally once the grass dies and even before that, which for us living in southern USA, is around December - horses should have access to hay 24/7. According to Diego’s body weight he needs atleast 19lbs a day to maintain healthy weight & gut health. Unfortunately this winter we have had troubles at my barn obtaining enough hay and keeping it out there constantly for the horses. While Diego isn’t in any immediate danger he has gone through winter much thinner than I prefer and it has had me stressed and worried for far too many months. Work, family life and other commitments keep me from being able to come out everyday to feed. Sometimes I feel very guilty, like I’m not being responsible enough for his well being. =(
Now because of the lack of hay issue, I am having to look into alternative ways to put weight on him. To some people this may not be unusual, or a big deal, but to me it’s very unnatural (for him) and frustrating. Horses were not meant to ingest large amount of commercially processed grains. While he might go the whole winter with no adverse side-effects (IF I choose the feed wisely and limit the starch & molasses) from excess amounts of grain my instincts tell me this is not the way to go. How many people out there have been faced with non-ideal feeding situations with their horses at boarding facilities? I find myself really wanting to hear their stories right about now. I have opinions thrown at me from all sides and it can get very overwhelming. I face judgment sometimes from all sides as well, no matter what decision I finally settle on. Most people are well meaning but also all of them think they know what’s bets for my horse. *sigh*
________
The options I have settled on for now are: Beet Pulp & Rice Bran Oil.
I started D on ½ cup of vegetable oil and then moved up to a homemade mixture of coconut & canola oil. My trimmer pointed out that canola is higher than certain other oils in Omega 6’s though which can promote inflammatory responses in the body. With D’s arthritis that’s something I definitely want to minimize. I’ve switched to rice bran oil currently and may continue to use coconut. Uckele.com has a coconut/soybean oil combo for about $18 which was tried and tested for us many years ago (and met taste approvals of our horses) so that’s an option too. As of last week he is now up to 2c. A large amount I know but it’s not permanent - I am looking for improvement and will drop back to 1c for maintenence.
The beet pulp from what I hear is slow to put weight on but reliable. Just this week we have moved up to 4lbs of it (dried, shredded measured). The trick for me is of course managing his intake - he is fed in one meal 4-5 times a week, so that presents a challenge of not overloading his stomach at one time. I break it up into 2 feedings over a 2hr period:
*2-3lbs beet pulp upon my arrival, before our work
*2lbs beet pulp + 1lb ration balancer + oil & hoof supplement before I leave
We'll see how this goes...
****************************
UPDATE on the weight issue: 3/31/11
Apparently it's not just him being a "hard keeper" that's been the problem all winter. I've been at the BP and oil thing for a month with only minimal results. Recently it was discovered that D has a jaw problem and there is significant suspicion now that the problem has caused the majority of weight loss through the winter. More on that in subsequent entries!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Playing with Shoulder In
I thought I would write alittle this morning about something I have been experimenting with lately with Diego: the Shoulder In.
As you may know we come from a Dressage background so related movements are familiar to us both. I have neglected most movements though for the past 6 months in an attempt to spend more time focusing on exploration, experimentation and my own learning through feel instead of head knowledge. As time goes by it is clear though that it’s time to start working these movements into our workouts and regular fun time: Diego needs the physical benefits such exercises provide. The building of the ab, hip and haunch muscles, the extending of the hind legs & careful weight loading, balance practice etc
.
In the world of dressage often as my old trainer used to say we complicate movements by studying each individual aid instead of the movement as a whole. I can say personally this was true for me and tends to “freeze” me as a rider… I stop riding because my brain and body can’t keep up/communicate. Then Diego stops because I froze… uhg. One of the first people to help me unravel these dressage movements was Art of Natural Dressage founder, Josepha Guillaume (www.josepha.info/ )
I believe her first comment was to not over-think things… just feel. Feel what the horse does and try experiments with your body to see how he reacts. Secondly she says to simply make your body do what you wish the horses body to do: for instance turn your shoulders inwards for Shoulder In, keep your hips straight since that’s the goal of the movement. This made absolute sense, by mirroring body movements I could eliminate the noise in my brain about “Do this do that”.
The last week I was reading JP Giacomini’s blog (www.equus-academy.com) and found an entry on the “Aids for Shoulder In”. I would quote the specifics if I could remember them, but basically I came away with the idea to try weight experiments using my stirrups. So when riding Diego at the walk I attempted Shoulder In as usual, my shoulder turned in alittle, my inside leg swinging freely with his barrel and pressing lightly as the barrel swung towards the outside (that times your leg with his legs properly). This time I very carefully stepped into the outside stirrup a bit. I don’t normally keep weight in my stirrups much at the walk… it’s just how I ride, for better or worse, but this stepping into the stirrup made a HUGE difference! Diego fairly glided sideways suddenly! O.O 3 steps in a row, body bent, crossing his legs over – and I could FEEL it. I am finally learning to feel the difference in his body when he walks like that!
This really made me realize just how important proper weight signals are. Diego had been waiting all along for me to give him a signal that made sense, apparently that shift of weight was exactly what he needed.
Yesterday I experimented a bit more with weight aids while riding. We had a brief trot around the arena to burn off some energy (we’ve had a COLD snap here! Brrrrr) and then a lap or 2 of canter both directions. I found the weight thing most helpful at the canter around curves. D is quite weak and unbalanced at the canter right now and leans terribly (for him atleast). No amount of lifting and releasing the inside rein gets him off his inside shoulder. I found it helped him significantly if I made sure my weight as very slightly to the outside stirrup (but not so much that my body was crooked!) and my inside leg rested firmly against his ribs as an aid to support him.
Definitely something I will continue to play with.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Hope in 2011
Wow... a new year already.
So much has changed I'm not even sure where to start.
As I write this I find myself, quite content with the way things are going for Diego and myself. Dec of 2009 I embarked on my own personal journey towards Classical Dressage, daring for once in my life to look past the local teaching I was getting and cast everything I found as irrelevant to my goals aside. I started to reach out, to learn on my own. About 8 months ago when I moved Diego to his current home we both embarked on an even stranger journey - one of building a relationship, a real one. Not just a "Hi I'm A and this is my horse who obeys me and loves me because I feed him." No, I wanted more, and having stumbled across Alexander Nevzorav, Carolyn Resnick and other liberty based trainers I knew the direction I wanted to go in. Since finding the Art of Natural Dressage community last summer, as well as being introduced to clicker-training Diego and I have made progress by leaps and bounds...
And what's more important is I find myself more and more...content.
I was thinking just the other day how much my own perceptions and expectations have taken a drastic turn in the past 6 months, and upon the realization - I was entirely pleased. Relieved even! It is so much better for one's overall health to NOT stress about things not worth stressing over!!!
But alittle explanation:
For countless years I rode the same routine. Same warm up, same cool down..same same same... mercilessly drilling laterals, shoulder-in, turn on forehand etc. Not because it was fun for me and Diego but because I had been taught it was necessary. Some days we executed everything with near perfection, others were (to me) a disaster. I thrive on perfection, on symmetry, on the little details being in-line. I guess you could say I have some OCD tendencies too. I also learned through what I saw and heard growing up, to dwell on the negative...unfortunately. It has been eating at my life ever since.
Any small victory in my work out with Diego was often over shadowed by a later, less desirable event. However small, it stuck in my proverbial craw and pestered me into negativity and sometimes into a horrible mood! Almost every day my trainer saw me ride she would ask me how Diego was. Most often her perception was he did very well. Very rarely was I enthusiastic about Diego's performance though. It was like any enthusiasm or positive exclamation or praise was strangled before it came out of my throat. To be honest sometimes I honestly think I am severely praise-challenged, lol. It is so easy for me to be negative, nothing is good enough. Always striving. It is what I know. Obviously this is ridiculous and it was unfair for Diego to bear this burden for so many years.
Lastnight in contrast, I babbled happily to the other boarder at our barn about our latest accomplishment (a short ride in the arena at dusk with absolutely no tack). I often have found myself happy to share the positive experiences with her and she is often happy to comment and share my enthusiasm. I quickly learned at this barn that no one cares about the technical aspects of 'finer riding' (including Dressage), they all simply want to feel happy and connected to their horses. Me going on about my frustrations over technical aspects got confused looks and often ended conversations. To find a way to share and engage other people I had to look outside of my own obsessive tendencies. I finally found some peace and with it contentment. Sure I have days where I am frustrated, dissapointed or even depressed over our inability to master a particular feat, but it is NOT every time I dismount anymore! My expectations have changed greatly. Diego no longer has to bear the burden of dealing with an emotionally sulky and dissatisfied human as well, and he is more free in what he offers me. Everything is more fresh... more exciting, more to look forward to.
Instead of going to the barn to de-stress, taking my frustration out on Diego, riding till I feel better, putting him up and going home (as was my old routine - hey I'm being honest) I now drop the stress as soon as I step out of my car. When I go to get him we meet and greet. Often he takes the time to tell me he's glad to see me with a nicker and trick(I usually carry a treat, but even so I imagine there is more to him offering a bunch of tricks for my viewing pleasure than just the one measly treat I give him). We spend alot of time doing what's fun for both of us... and even when we have our bad days there is usually SOMETHING I can come up with that helps redeem it.
***
I think I owe a great amount to the AND community for helping me think outside the box. It is a long process for some of us to change our ways and our thinking. I wanted to very much from the start - but wanting to and doing so are not the same. It has been a very safe, patient place for me to wait, watch, listen and experiment on a regular basis and I continue to learn daily.
My old self would find critical flaws in my current state: Diego and I are much less precise and disciplined than we used to be. Sometimes productivity is lost.
On the other hand I am getting to experience things I never even thought would happen...
My (formerly silent) horse talks to me on a constant basis - verbally with all sorts of tones, and he is exceedingly honest and sometimes harsh with me in communication (as I used to be with him). I have learned to appreciate that instead of taking offense or fearing "he doesn't respect me". He does respect me - enough to tell me the truth! Like "Hey! You're being a butt-head today!" hahaha...
He also listens to me, which blows me away. He checks on my emotional status on a regular basis through pheromone scent (long story will explain in future posts) and has actually taken steps to "protect' me on more than one occasion when a person upset me. He's often agitated and confused when I'm upset emotionally and he can't find an immediate agitator to separate me from. (poor guy doesn't quite understand I can be upset by internal sources)
All these things I never thought I would see with this horse. Stands to reason that there is even better stuff to come!
~ More later!
So much has changed I'm not even sure where to start.
As I write this I find myself, quite content with the way things are going for Diego and myself. Dec of 2009 I embarked on my own personal journey towards Classical Dressage, daring for once in my life to look past the local teaching I was getting and cast everything I found as irrelevant to my goals aside. I started to reach out, to learn on my own. About 8 months ago when I moved Diego to his current home we both embarked on an even stranger journey - one of building a relationship, a real one. Not just a "Hi I'm A and this is my horse who obeys me and loves me because I feed him." No, I wanted more, and having stumbled across Alexander Nevzorav, Carolyn Resnick and other liberty based trainers I knew the direction I wanted to go in. Since finding the Art of Natural Dressage community last summer, as well as being introduced to clicker-training Diego and I have made progress by leaps and bounds...
And what's more important is I find myself more and more...content.
I was thinking just the other day how much my own perceptions and expectations have taken a drastic turn in the past 6 months, and upon the realization - I was entirely pleased. Relieved even! It is so much better for one's overall health to NOT stress about things not worth stressing over!!!
But alittle explanation:
For countless years I rode the same routine. Same warm up, same cool down..same same same... mercilessly drilling laterals, shoulder-in, turn on forehand etc. Not because it was fun for me and Diego but because I had been taught it was necessary. Some days we executed everything with near perfection, others were (to me) a disaster. I thrive on perfection, on symmetry, on the little details being in-line. I guess you could say I have some OCD tendencies too. I also learned through what I saw and heard growing up, to dwell on the negative...unfortunately. It has been eating at my life ever since.
Any small victory in my work out with Diego was often over shadowed by a later, less desirable event. However small, it stuck in my proverbial craw and pestered me into negativity and sometimes into a horrible mood! Almost every day my trainer saw me ride she would ask me how Diego was. Most often her perception was he did very well. Very rarely was I enthusiastic about Diego's performance though. It was like any enthusiasm or positive exclamation or praise was strangled before it came out of my throat. To be honest sometimes I honestly think I am severely praise-challenged, lol. It is so easy for me to be negative, nothing is good enough. Always striving. It is what I know. Obviously this is ridiculous and it was unfair for Diego to bear this burden for so many years.
Lastnight in contrast, I babbled happily to the other boarder at our barn about our latest accomplishment (a short ride in the arena at dusk with absolutely no tack). I often have found myself happy to share the positive experiences with her and she is often happy to comment and share my enthusiasm. I quickly learned at this barn that no one cares about the technical aspects of 'finer riding' (including Dressage), they all simply want to feel happy and connected to their horses. Me going on about my frustrations over technical aspects got confused looks and often ended conversations. To find a way to share and engage other people I had to look outside of my own obsessive tendencies. I finally found some peace and with it contentment. Sure I have days where I am frustrated, dissapointed or even depressed over our inability to master a particular feat, but it is NOT every time I dismount anymore! My expectations have changed greatly. Diego no longer has to bear the burden of dealing with an emotionally sulky and dissatisfied human as well, and he is more free in what he offers me. Everything is more fresh... more exciting, more to look forward to.
Instead of going to the barn to de-stress, taking my frustration out on Diego, riding till I feel better, putting him up and going home (as was my old routine - hey I'm being honest) I now drop the stress as soon as I step out of my car. When I go to get him we meet and greet. Often he takes the time to tell me he's glad to see me with a nicker and trick(I usually carry a treat, but even so I imagine there is more to him offering a bunch of tricks for my viewing pleasure than just the one measly treat I give him). We spend alot of time doing what's fun for both of us... and even when we have our bad days there is usually SOMETHING I can come up with that helps redeem it.
***
I think I owe a great amount to the AND community for helping me think outside the box. It is a long process for some of us to change our ways and our thinking. I wanted to very much from the start - but wanting to and doing so are not the same. It has been a very safe, patient place for me to wait, watch, listen and experiment on a regular basis and I continue to learn daily.
My old self would find critical flaws in my current state: Diego and I are much less precise and disciplined than we used to be. Sometimes productivity is lost.
On the other hand I am getting to experience things I never even thought would happen...
My (formerly silent) horse talks to me on a constant basis - verbally with all sorts of tones, and he is exceedingly honest and sometimes harsh with me in communication (as I used to be with him). I have learned to appreciate that instead of taking offense or fearing "he doesn't respect me". He does respect me - enough to tell me the truth! Like "Hey! You're being a butt-head today!" hahaha...
He also listens to me, which blows me away. He checks on my emotional status on a regular basis through pheromone scent (long story will explain in future posts) and has actually taken steps to "protect' me on more than one occasion when a person upset me. He's often agitated and confused when I'm upset emotionally and he can't find an immediate agitator to separate me from. (poor guy doesn't quite understand I can be upset by internal sources)
All these things I never thought I would see with this horse. Stands to reason that there is even better stuff to come!
~ More later!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Discovery
I hate leaving gaps in my writing because it’s hard to pick back up sometimes…
In this case though I’ve decided to make my entry fairly short, for me, anyways.
Last I wrote Diego was only just settling into his new home and the new relationship we’d hoped to build, he was also just starting to open up and express himself again, largely because of starting clicker training with him. Everything was so new, uncertain, scary, exciting…
Fall flew by with various difficulties – some horse related and some in my personal life or health.
Winter is approaching now.
A freezing wind is blowing this morning and it’s under 50 degrees right now. Brrrr
And D is probably out roaming the pasture with his herd, sans blanket, munching the left over grass and hiding in the valleys from the wind. In otherwords he’s finally getting to be a real horse. I can’t say he’s ever looked back. I’ve put him in a stall maybe 3 times in the past 5 months. He has buddies, and responsibilities (he has a mare now) that must be kept at all times when he’s not with me. Life for them is moving, communing, playing, eating etc.
* * * * * * * *
He is still very herd-bound when not with his buddies, especially if he senses my nerves, threatening weather or anything out of the ordinary on any given day, but that is a trust issue between us that will come with time. It’s already improved, but is probably one of the slowest moving of everything we are making progress in.
He is still not often soft or loving towards me, though I have made an effort to repress my demanding, bossy former nature with him. He expresses each opinion with the intensity with which he feels it – often pretty intense. Like mine. Birds of a feather. ;)
Lastnight he was thoroughly dissatisfied with me restraining him in the barn and constantly telling him ‘no”. While tied for grooming he poked his head over the wall to bully Levi the colt, off his food – despite the fact that Diego couldn’t reach Levi’s food. I verbally scolded D and gave a tug at the base of his halter for him to back up off the wall. He did, but promptly put his ears back, cocked his head and gave a warning ‘snap’ in my direction. The other boarder about 15 feet away saw the exchange and commented on D’s response, surprised at his ‘sass”. I ignored Diego’s snap and simply went about my business as I do now when he responds in a not so nice way, telling the boarder he was telling me how he felt. It’s true, he often tells me exactly how he feels about something and often I’m completely unprepared when I’m bombarded by his opinions. XD lol 14 years of living a repressed life in a relationship might make me a tiny bit cranky too!
But there are some quiet moments where he puts his head against me, or comes to me for comfort that make all of this effort worth it. One of my friends in the horse community I joined owns a former abused Spanish bullfighting horse. She has beautiful pictures of him calmly resting his head against her with his eyes half closed. It was an expression of trust that overwhelmed me. I have dealt with many headshy horses in my life, but never truly given thought to the fact that that is their most prized and sensitive part of their body! Their head, eyes, mouth…. Something we often feel we have a “right” to.
“Give me your head and put this stupid bridle on!”
“Give me your jaw – accept that bit!”
“Grab his head.”
“Grab his nose.”
The list goes on.
We’re a rather bullish, selfish, insensitive race at times aren’t we? o.O
It makes it all the more meaningful that Diego chooses and has chosen in the past to give me his head. He doesn’t always… try bringing a syringe of wormer into eye sight and he’ll fling his head up to the sky! But on cold nights like last week when he was in pain from a leg injury, he walked behind me with his head resting squarely on my back for comfort. He followed me in the dark through physical contact and trust.
* * * * * * *
These past few months have opened my eyes to how truly intelligent, emotional, sensitive and physically powerful Diego is – even more so than I could have imagined when I started this journal.One of the most incredible times was one hot summer day...
I have taken on the endeavor to learn pheromone/intent communication through breath exchange, at the suggestion of a friend. Apparently the horses extremely sensitive sense of smell is able to pick up so much more information from other mammals than we thought previously. Intent can be conveyed by a single simplistic thought or emotion and then the pheromone is created when the we let the breath out. Have you ever watched a horse blow out to another’s nostrils? Or watched a horses nostrils contract, shrink taking in the exchange? If dogs can tell age, food eaten, general health etc. by sniffing eachothers butts I see no reason why horses can’t communicate by breath.
So I try it. Though I am clumsy at collecting my thoughts.
I felt extremely tired and was in pain (sunburn) on this day and sat in the barn on a chair, dripping with sweat. Diego stood with his head next to me and finally after a long time of silence raised his head so his nose hung in the air 10 inches from my face. I breathed out, feeling all my pain and tiredness. His nostrils contracted very slightly and stayed contracted, he did not breath out at all. I was told later that means he was waiting for more information… inviting me to talk.
That to me speaks volumes. In his own language he was offering a listening ear, more so than we give horses credit for. They don’t understand our words when we rant about a bad day – but he certainly understood the pain and fatigue I was experiencing and offered me the chance to share more. Mind blowing…
I will post more on specifics of what we’ve been working on later. For now just know that we are on our way to something more powerful than I had prepared myself for!
In this case though I’ve decided to make my entry fairly short, for me, anyways.
Last I wrote Diego was only just settling into his new home and the new relationship we’d hoped to build, he was also just starting to open up and express himself again, largely because of starting clicker training with him. Everything was so new, uncertain, scary, exciting…
Fall flew by with various difficulties – some horse related and some in my personal life or health.
Winter is approaching now.
A freezing wind is blowing this morning and it’s under 50 degrees right now. Brrrr
And D is probably out roaming the pasture with his herd, sans blanket, munching the left over grass and hiding in the valleys from the wind. In otherwords he’s finally getting to be a real horse. I can’t say he’s ever looked back. I’ve put him in a stall maybe 3 times in the past 5 months. He has buddies, and responsibilities (he has a mare now) that must be kept at all times when he’s not with me. Life for them is moving, communing, playing, eating etc.
* * * * * * * *
He is still very herd-bound when not with his buddies, especially if he senses my nerves, threatening weather or anything out of the ordinary on any given day, but that is a trust issue between us that will come with time. It’s already improved, but is probably one of the slowest moving of everything we are making progress in.
He is still not often soft or loving towards me, though I have made an effort to repress my demanding, bossy former nature with him. He expresses each opinion with the intensity with which he feels it – often pretty intense. Like mine. Birds of a feather. ;)
Lastnight he was thoroughly dissatisfied with me restraining him in the barn and constantly telling him ‘no”. While tied for grooming he poked his head over the wall to bully Levi the colt, off his food – despite the fact that Diego couldn’t reach Levi’s food. I verbally scolded D and gave a tug at the base of his halter for him to back up off the wall. He did, but promptly put his ears back, cocked his head and gave a warning ‘snap’ in my direction. The other boarder about 15 feet away saw the exchange and commented on D’s response, surprised at his ‘sass”. I ignored Diego’s snap and simply went about my business as I do now when he responds in a not so nice way, telling the boarder he was telling me how he felt. It’s true, he often tells me exactly how he feels about something and often I’m completely unprepared when I’m bombarded by his opinions. XD lol 14 years of living a repressed life in a relationship might make me a tiny bit cranky too!
But there are some quiet moments where he puts his head against me, or comes to me for comfort that make all of this effort worth it. One of my friends in the horse community I joined owns a former abused Spanish bullfighting horse. She has beautiful pictures of him calmly resting his head against her with his eyes half closed. It was an expression of trust that overwhelmed me. I have dealt with many headshy horses in my life, but never truly given thought to the fact that that is their most prized and sensitive part of their body! Their head, eyes, mouth…. Something we often feel we have a “right” to.
“Give me your head and put this stupid bridle on!”
“Give me your jaw – accept that bit!”
“Grab his head.”
“Grab his nose.”
The list goes on.
We’re a rather bullish, selfish, insensitive race at times aren’t we? o.O
It makes it all the more meaningful that Diego chooses and has chosen in the past to give me his head. He doesn’t always… try bringing a syringe of wormer into eye sight and he’ll fling his head up to the sky! But on cold nights like last week when he was in pain from a leg injury, he walked behind me with his head resting squarely on my back for comfort. He followed me in the dark through physical contact and trust.
* * * * * * *
These past few months have opened my eyes to how truly intelligent, emotional, sensitive and physically powerful Diego is – even more so than I could have imagined when I started this journal.One of the most incredible times was one hot summer day...
I have taken on the endeavor to learn pheromone/intent communication through breath exchange, at the suggestion of a friend. Apparently the horses extremely sensitive sense of smell is able to pick up so much more information from other mammals than we thought previously. Intent can be conveyed by a single simplistic thought or emotion and then the pheromone is created when the we let the breath out. Have you ever watched a horse blow out to another’s nostrils? Or watched a horses nostrils contract, shrink taking in the exchange? If dogs can tell age, food eaten, general health etc. by sniffing eachothers butts I see no reason why horses can’t communicate by breath.
So I try it. Though I am clumsy at collecting my thoughts.
I felt extremely tired and was in pain (sunburn) on this day and sat in the barn on a chair, dripping with sweat. Diego stood with his head next to me and finally after a long time of silence raised his head so his nose hung in the air 10 inches from my face. I breathed out, feeling all my pain and tiredness. His nostrils contracted very slightly and stayed contracted, he did not breath out at all. I was told later that means he was waiting for more information… inviting me to talk.
That to me speaks volumes. In his own language he was offering a listening ear, more so than we give horses credit for. They don’t understand our words when we rant about a bad day – but he certainly understood the pain and fatigue I was experiencing and offered me the chance to share more. Mind blowing…
I will post more on specifics of what we’ve been working on later. For now just know that we are on our way to something more powerful than I had prepared myself for!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)