First, the Good News

So in my long absence ~ I've been riding Diego lately! 

For a solid year and a half I lost part of what is probably the closest connection I've had with a ridden horse, yet. I remember longing, pining, dreaming of the day I'd climb on Diego's back again. I remember staring at his back, walking with my hand slipped suggestively over his spine, just imagining being up there. You don't know what you have till it's gone...

Now the days are back where I can hoist myself up on his back, with no ill effects and off we go... It's like nothing has changed... nothing... and yet - like the barn manager said the other day: everything has changed. So it's surreal.

May was filled with tentative rides: long walks, some hills and plenty of relaxation.
June? The work started: trotting, more hills, regular dressage and longer rides.

I find that as per usual - the most 'rusty' thing in all of this is ME. Whether it's getting my back and hips relaxed to sit a trot or remembering the all important nuances about fitness training that I learned many moons ago. Diego for the most part is smooth sailing. He still tires easily on humid days, but that's to be expected. GA summers are BRUTAL with humidity. As long as a good breeze is going, he'll keep chugging. We've done a couple of hour long walks now, which is great! Steep hills and all. He remembers almost everything perfectly (except "Halt" but that's another entry right there), including his wonderful laterals.

RAWR! Open pastures... lemmie' at em!

So now instead of the pity looks and the questions of when I'll be able to ride again, I often am the first one to tack up, and the one most often seen strolling through the pasture in the evenings.

It's much sweeter this time around, that's for sure.

Dusk and the Setting Sun

Diego and I took a short ride last night. It was the first in almost 2 weeks... he was doing really well - no inflammation, enjoying the sudden cool snap (50's at night have now turned to 39! ) so I figured what the heck, let's try it.

I slapped on the boots, the bareback pad and clipped my reins to his flat-banded nylon halter. At first he looked at me suspiciously and made a move to walk away (then quickly got distracted by a bucket of food placed dumbly in the middle of the barn aisle.) but once we stepped outside he was clearly on his toes. By the time we got to the pasture I could feel he was pretty wired throughout his entire body. He stood still for me to mount (barely, tensely) from the trailer wheel-well  (great place to mount - will have to remember that) and enthusiastically took off at a FAST walk.

We made a loop around the edge of the pasture and back, a total of about 15 minutes, start to end. His back has such poor muscling that I just can't bring myself to stress his spine with my weight too much right now. I was surprised however in the ease at which he carried me for the most part.. then again I am trying my best nowdays to be a model of near perfect balance for him. This includes the ever careful alignment of my spine in proper orientation with his and keeping our center of gravities 'together' - one very good example is riding downhill: I do a mini 2-point seat. I tried this experiment several years back when I was still exploring riding before he got sick, turns out once I moved my center of gravity forwards, but in a balanced way D responded by moving down hills more freely and happily. Traditional riding logic would think that strange, but it kind of makes sense considering through out all my jump and huntseat training how I was taught to be balanced and light in all situations, even downhill. It was dressage training later that ruined part of my seat, ironically.

ANYWAYS! (tangents, tangents)

Back to the ride. D was feeling quite full of himself an opinionated - there was much head shaking, some impressive 90-degree turns (O.O did I mention I was bareback?), and on the way back to the gate a jig or two. Actually on the way back I afforded myself a treat, and when I see him today we will see if it was too much... but... I kept just enough contact to keep his head up, while letting him prance his way into a bouncy, collected trot. Normally I would strongly encourage him to walk again, fearing my merciless bouncing on his poor spine and his delicate hooves - but this time I said 'forget it. I'm just gonna sit here and stay balanced and hope he doesn't decide to buck me off in the end." (as he was still 100% wired). What came out of it was one of those events that really stick with you - those moments where you're in perfect harmony with your horse and both of you are enjoying whatever gait you're going along at, in relative easy and happiness. His head was up, neck tall fully extended, his poll flexed only slightly and although I bounced alittle, his back felt like a springy suspension bridge. If I tried I could almost imagine that I felt his front hooves hitting the ground independently - correctly. For those few strides he felt balanced, excited, powerful and truly perfect to ride.

Had dusk not been creeping in over the fields I think I would have wanted another round of the pasture, but as it was the cold air and impending darkness (along with wayyy too many strange horses trying to sniff his butt) was making D alittle jumpy/insecure. I am still trying to ride the fine line between our workouts and keeping him from feeling forced, alone and scared. It will come with time, but part of that comes from me respecting his feelings on any given issue. I was disappointed to note though that after 15 minutes of excitedly lugging me up and down pasture hills - he was not even WARM. It was like it had been no exertion at all!

Note to self: 30 minute ride/walks are DEFINITELY in order now!

I'm excited to see what today tells about lastnight's excursion. Was this too much? Will he be sore? Stiff? Depressed?
Or will I walk up to a bright eyed and bushy tailed horse?
Ahh that's the story of his entire recovery: you never know what tomorrow brings.

So I've decided to enjoy 'today' as it were when we can...

Spring Has Sprung

I sent a huge cloud of yellow powder into the air this morning when I turned my windshield wipers on...   yep.  It's that time of year. The big hardwoods at the barn are still looking scraggly but neon buds are popping out on the tips of their branches. The grass is blindingly green - poking up through the dead stuff from winter.

Everywhere horses are dropping mangey hair and stating to look gorgeous and sleek (except D: stupid Cushings coat), and riders are gearing up for summer. I think I've been bitten by the bug - the spring bug... I have the overwhelming urge to get back in the saddle and ride until I can't feel my legs anymore. The urge to gallop over countryside until I'm sunburned and sweaty.


Maybe it's the spring weather, those last few joyful rides on Diego, or too much of reading Andrea's old blog posts, or the girls at my barn dusting off the saddles and heading out for trailrides...   I'm suddenly dying to be back in the saddle, training for the next big thing, or galloping along endlessly over hilly terrain listening to nothing but hoofbeats and horse breathing. Or flying over tall obstacles and turning tight roll-backs in a sandy arena.

This brings up an internal debate. 3 years ago I had given up on my competition dreams, somewhat sadly. 2 years ago I came to a feeling of contented acceptance and was quite happy with my new journey with D. So, what on earth is this all about? Diego is never again going to be able to do the things he once did. I still have grand hopes of him making a recovery to "fit old horse" condition, but "fit old horse" & "fit young/middle-aged horse" are two different things. Most jumping is in our rearview mirror (sadly), as is taking uneven terrain at a fast pace. Older tendons just do not have the same resiliency as young ones: it's not safe. Getting him back in 'work' has proven difficult this month: we're enduring more setbacks from unexplained hoof inflammation and when he has that - I CANNOT ride. Work in hand can only go so far, he is not fit enough to trot or more than 10 minutes and the warm weather is not sitting well with him anymore (I'm honestly alittle worried about anhydrosis). *sigh*

Soooo with all that said - I'm obviously stuck. The 'urge' is killing me though. I had not previously thought past Diego to 'what if I had another horse?". So far all attempts to keep in good riding shape with a 'loan' have been very short lived. I've ridden a handful of horses since D's laminitis: anything from the green broke Throughbred to the old OTTB, to the pokey trail QH. I have truly appreciated each and very opportunity but have sadly realized something very important: none of them are D. I don't like ANY of them near as much. Sitting on D is like having 4 legs instantly wired to my own brain and nerve receptors. Sitting on other horses is awkward at best - like when I was a kid and took riding lessons on different ponies. New stride length, new type of movement, new timing, different ribcage width, different reaction times to spooks etc. This all boils down to that fateful day someday: getting a new horse is not going to be fun for me. :(


But on a happier note ~ I do have the opportunity to train some now, if I so choose. There are a couple of school horses at my new barn that I'm allowed to fool around with. I took one for a short ride yesterday evening at W/T (cute little chestnut). Boy do I need some work! I did ok, tried to be loose and light/soft, but I'm really going to have to get out in the field and trot it out to see how my muscles really handle riding again. I can feel the pull in my lower calves and my upper ribcage today... And I lose my balance all too easily. Funny how that works, used to my body knew right 'where to be' in relation to the horse at all times.


Hopefully I'll get some pictures soon. This whole blog has gone without for too long.
B.o.r.i.n.g!

The Triumphs of March

The close of March draws near this weekend and I find myself stunned, wondering where the month went. I love summer with a passion, so it's always my goal to make sure spring doesn't slip by unnoticed: I love having a long prequel to summer. ;)

I think it's safe to say Diego is settling in well at the new place. This month he's taken to scrapping with neighbors over stall gates in the barn whenever we walk past, he's perking his ears when the pasture horses creep closer to investigate us, rather than looking worried and hiding behind me. His personality is coming out in full force: bold, energetic and bully-ish. The barn manager expressed surprise and amusement over it just this week. We all agree spring is in the air and he's feelin' it.

Once I got his diet settled and squared away last month, then it was time to address his trim. His hooves need a different trim now than they did though the winter: change of terrain, time passed and work intensity all demand a change. Change is by nature difficult for me and I find my habits and muscle memory slow to alter, so I've taken a step back and given him a month without any hoof changes and will alter the trim as needed soon.

So what's left on the agenda after diet and trim + regular in-hand work is all addressed?

RIDING!!!

I've gotten to sit on him quite a few times on calm evenings at the barn after our walks. That in itself was HUGE.
   I spent some time feeling down and guilty though after my first few mounts: Diego kept moving away from whatever mounting object I was using. We know eachother well enough for me to know this is from a hesitancy due to pain, not a desire to 'get out of work' (this horse could outwork ME if he wanted). I got on him anyway (the part I've been feeling guilty over), and once mounted he seemed perfectly fine, if anything, antsy to walk and really stride out. His huge strided walk is back in full force! Slowly though as we've progressed to taking 10 minute rides down the driveway - I start to feel less guilty. Some well timed articles detailing the horses' two fold ability to live in the moment and protect their body from pain AND also remember back to painful memories and protect their body from that remembered pain (whether currently relevant or not) surfaced this week and I found myself analyzing the situation yet again. Diego has alot of remembered pain from years of imbalance and his lumbar issue, then a year of being forced to work with a rider on his back when he had sore and sometimes laminitic hooves. I cringe at the thought but that was the reality... meanwhile I had been frustrated as I could be looking at external solutions like tack changes and joint supplements. I find it interesting that after a handful of decent, very short rides D has come to stand still (albiet impatiently) for mounting.

Since we only spend 10-15 minutes each time with me riding I've been at a loss for what to work on. One thing I decided this time around - was I did not want to let him go 'long and low' 100% of the time. Learning how the back works I've learned that letting the nuctural(?) ligament take up the slack and hold me up (which is what it's doing when he lowers his head way down) will not accomplish my goal of building back muscle properly. Naturally I don't want him to go around tense, high headed and hollow either, so there had to be an in-between.

   So far he's operating at 100%, meaning as always he remembers and can execute almost anything right off the bat: leg yields, half passes, shoulder in, haunches in - you name it! I was shocked. Instead of starting back at square one, mentally he's starting back at square 8 out of 10! I have to be careful to remind myself his body isn't as far along as his mind is, but regardless he's surprisingly flexible. Maybe all this time healing those hooves have truly helped him in that he's not moving with hoof pain anymore!
I've taken to trying some shoulder ins this week, with varying degrees of rein contact. I do enjoy riding on a very loose 'live' rein, but in light of not wanting his head all the way down to or below his chest 50% of the time I'm forced to ride with more contact than either of us are used to. I'm thinking this is a good thing in a way though:

1) his bitless cavessons that I use don't seem to transmit the 'drape' of the 'live rein' very well, so he's not alert and responding to the rein till it hits his neck for the most part.

2) anytime I take up more contact he gets excited, stiff, raises his head and does his age-old shuffle/jig, expecting us to go galloping down the barn aisle.  O.O
Yeah... no dude.

So slowly I plan to get us used to both types of contact again. I think that's going to be important. Maybe eventually when he can comfortably carry his neck higher again, we will return to a looser 'live' contact but with higher carriage. Granted I'm not trying to force a frame here, and if I get the slightest hint that he can't do something, I certainly won't insist. I think that's an important part of our rehab, trust and mutual respect.


On the horizon? Long walks. I think he will be able to handle those soon. We've spent almost a month taking these baby steps to riding, in April I want to try him on varied terrain and longer distances. The goal is 30 minute walks for the end of April!

Recovery Conditioning for the Older Horse

In light of the fact that Diego is approaching the point where he'll be 100% rideable again (fingers crossed) I thought I would spend some time explaining my thoughts and theories that I've based my plans on for our conditioning...  First I'll explain my influences, then the specific 'plan'.

My goal since 2010 has been to build as fit, athletic and happy a horse as I can. Plain and simple - that is what I want for D. The bulk of my work with Diego to build muscle, flexibility and thus balance: is governed by basic principles of classic based dressage. In short I want to encourage proper muscle use by making it fun and/or comfortable to use the right muscle groups. I want to minimize joint and tissue damage by avoiding: "drills" / excessive repetitive motions, unbalanced, fast or otherwise harmful movement to the body that's not bio-mechanically correct. A lot of our work has been very slow & subtle (leaving alot of viewers to believe we're doing nothing at all). Doing things slowly goes against my nature as a whole, so that should give an example of how much I truly believe in what I'm doing! I've learned alot from various places during my research, but the places I keep going back to for information & encouragement are:

Art of Natural Dressage
Science of Motion
Marijke de Jong (trained by Bent Branderup)
Dr. Deb Benett
Sustainable Dressage

I also use clicker training to help me 'mark' the correct responses that help build correct movement.

Throughout everything Diego has maintained a very basic level of fitness through hand walking. Now it's time to get FIT, and build those back muscles that have been nearly non-existent for years!

 Ze Plan:

As I sit here and write this I begin to see how futile it is to come up with a rigid plan, when I know that what we ultimately do each day is subject to SO many variables! Weather, mood, physical ability etc. None the less I intend to use this as a guide.

STATIC: (used daily or nearly daily)

• Belly Lifts (using a blunt object like the handle of a hoofpick - run it up and down under your horses doral/belly button line to encourage them to lift their back. Hold for 5-10 seconds. Repeat. 5-10 reps is our goal
• Butt Tucks (use thumbs or blunt object and press lightly on either side of tailhead, squeezing together and inward, horse usually tucks their croup) I was told by my chiropractor that this exercise helps stretch out the lumbar spine especially if the horse is taken to standing hollow alot, and it also exercises/clenches the gluteal muscles.
  5-10 rep goal
• Jambettes  (fancy word for foreleg lifts) We do this with clicker training and I encourage an upright posture during lifts, because the point of the exercise is to lighten and free up the shoulders and shift is bodyweight to a more horizontal orientation, rather than a forehand-heavy orientation. Head and neck position is very important and I find it alot easier to encourage him to hold the posture himself, rather than me restrain his head with equipment. He as to be self sufficient to truly learn muscle memory!
• Neck Arches  - also called Ramener by some. I encourage D to tuck his chin slightly so that his neck becomes soft and his face his just infront of the vertical, then I ask the base of his neck to lift as high as possible.  The purpose for this is to again encourage lightness in the forehand at the halt, to gently flex the poll and most importantly to work the muscles deep in the chest at the base of the neck teaching LIFT. If the 'lift' is not there, it doesn't matter how much he raises his head - it won't accomplish what we need for lightness. I also do this by clicker training for the same purpose as the leglifts: D has to learn to use his muscles in the correct way without my physical interference: it's all about muscle memory! With this exercise I can also modify it to work different muscle groups. Sometimes I focus more on the 'lift', sometimes we work more on softness in the vertical poll flexion.

In the long run, static exercises are key in body building and all important steps to balance and collection for us, and all we need is a relatively flat space to stand and do them!

MOVEMENT: (daily and semi-daily exercises)

• Walking - obviously lots of walking is in order for fitness, no matter what. I try to get in a minimum 20 minutes of a brisk pace everyday. Preferably at this point we should be doing 1hr walks but my body just can't handle that on some days and D can just about out-walk 17h horses when he gets going!
• Shoulder-In. We are finally to the point were his hooves have healed (read: grown out) enough to handle the twisting/torque of this movement. We should be doing this everyday by now. I'm noticing big problems coming off D's rest period, he's having problems with bend and balance - inevitably too much bend=loss of balance or too little bend/stiffness. We have alot of work to do. Ideally I want a gentle bend, without a break at the base of the neck (I want the shoulders involved and lifting), slow with a steady rhythm and engaged hind legs (which usually isn't a problem for him).
• Backing. I don't understand all the mechanisms yet, but backing really works! Once D has been properly warmed up and barring any significant problems or soreness, he backs very smoothly. I generally encouraged a relaxed/lowered head position, but again his head position is not something I interfere with physically. I do NOT feel that pressure on the head (which in turn affects the entire vertebra column) is of any benefit in this movement. I usually aim for backing atleast 20-50 feet 3x per instance. You can vary it and back in circles too but we haven't mastered that yet as D's one-sidedness causes uh... directionally challenged issues. LoL
• Hill work. I had very limited success with hillwork back in 2010 and 2011 before Diego's laminitis and Cushings diagnosis'. Hills in general were very painful for him (in my ignorance I followed the advice of others and pushed him to do the work constantly) and made it ultimately miserable for both of us. Needless to say what I thought was arthritis with his inability to walk down hills comfortably turned out largely to be hoof pain or residual problems from hoof pain. This week he is fairly gliding down steep hills with more gusto than I am... o.o
  Regardless, I am currently studying studying the break down of tissues in the older horse in an online class I'm taking and I will be using extreme caution with hills to preserve the integrity of D's tendons and ligaments. That is my major concern with the hills right now. The plan is to do long, gradual slopes at a walk ONLY.
• Trotting. Another milestone in D's recovery is being able to trot comfortably again with a heel fist landing. While the lunge line is not my favorite tool for the horse with hoof problems (again: torque on hooves), we don't currently have a roundpen or arena that would allow me to turn him loose. We are currently doing sets of trot for 5 minutes each, followed by breaks. I've had to really change by habits in this dept as I was always one to push a horse for more "engagement", bigger flashier movement, etc. I felt like if they weren't moving to suit my tastes they weren't exercising the muscles at their full range of motion. This article was key in busting my little bubble... Now instead I try to accept whatever speed and engagement Diego offers me, and study it to determine how he feels, what muscle groups seem stronger, which seem weaker - and is there improvement. I look for the 'bounce' in his step: gait suspension. Funny enough, when I stop pushing and leave him alone he often finds incredible trot-suspension on his own. His natural rhythm varies from day to day though and that admittedly throws me off sometimes.

UNDER SADDLE: current & future goal is 2-4x per week
It gives me chills to even write this - we are so close! I realize I'm being so painfully careful that it's giving half my horsey friends aneurisms, but I'd rather go "too slow" than too fast.

• Sitting.  Just sitting, not doing anything else.
  I read somewhere a couple years back about the concept of 'loading the skeleton' that is allowing the horses' body to adjust to the weight of a rider first (bone, tendon, ligaments, muscle etc.) before asking for anything else. In light of D's long break from real riding this is something I'd like to try. People constantly say "Oh you can't possibly weigh anything! It won't be a problem for him!" But consider a person you know in their 60's - a parent, grandparent. Let's say they weigh about 180lbs, average build. Put a 30lb medicine ball in a backpack and ask them to stand there with it for 10 minutes or walk around the local park. Between arthritis, and age related weakness - let's be real - this is not as easy or comfortable as is made out. That does not take into account Diego's prior hoof pain.
• Walking.
  So descriptive... I know. My goal is 30 min - 1hr walks eventually (over varied terrain) or fitness. Right now though I would settle for 10 minute walks around the edge of the pasture, avoiding an steep hills. 
• Trotting.
  We won't be doing this for awhile. I feel like it's too much weight and concussion on his legs and spine. I want ample muscle built in his back first and time for his tendons and ligaments to adjust.
• Poles.
  I'm not a huge pole fan, just because I was drilled on them as a hunter and later in jumping so much. Diego was never good at them either and tended to panic and try to jump them (it was always that 4th pole that threw him over the edge of reason) which in turn made me panicky about them. They're helpful though and I think despite our former bad experiences (and maybe because of them!) we need to walk poles... ALOT.

Hooves and Recovery

Today I'm doing some light reading - which is including materials on various trim methods. This is a weekly if not daily thing for me lately. I've learned so much since this blog started that I have trouble putting it all into words.

Diego's hooves have undergone an onslaught of assaults from various sources for over a year now, and we find ourselves this week - sitting on the 6 month anniversary of his most recent (and worst) laminitic attack. I am clinging rigidly and (understandably) desperately to all dietary and environmental restrictions to keep D from having another attack right now - but as the months creep by and we finally start to see progress through the dreary daily routine: I have finally started to feel a little more hope. 

We're 6 months out and this time, for sure, I am confident that we have good hoof form. As good as it can get really. I haven't had the money for Xays in a year now, so I've had to wing-it by just reading the external hoof signs as well as I can. I constantly scrutinize his sole, his gait and measure the collateral grooves, looking for more depth. The last and most frustrating piece to fall in place has been his soundness. His last event in August left him barely able to drag himself from the paddock to the grooming area and back. Boots and pads only made it moderately better. It was horrible to watch him have so much pain just walking... 

 We made huge strides (har har) though, and by November he was comfortable - trotting, galloping and bucking with his girlfriend. It was a sight to see! December brought cold nights though, and with  his damaged vascular system in his lower legs & feet started giving him issues. He had significant amounts of pain, his legs stocked up from not moving all day long (due to hoof pain) etc. I added some dietary supplements to help - but nothing is a cure. It's still just as cold out now in February, but at the new facility D is kept in at night (not ideal to me but the lesser of several evils I was faced with in moving him), where the temperature is consistently 10 degrees warmer than the outdoors. Guess what... no leg swelling! No owwie hooves with warm coronary bands! YAY! 

Try as I might to provide Diego with a more 'natural' lifestyle, it's becoming increasingly apparent that certain domestic 'comforts' are needed to give him the ability to live a decent life after the Cushings hammered away at his body unchecked for 5 years and laminitis ravaged the blood vessels in his hooves. So far this has included blanketing, wrapping the legs and being stabled at night. So I continue down this road of discovery: hopefully with less judgement about "right and wrong" horse management and attached dogma.  >.>'

Ok...  so maybe this wasn't as much about hooves as I'd intended to write. ;p
I just reread the first post on this blog from 2010 discussing his hooves. What a long way we have come! Few if any of the problems we faced then haunt us now (except heel contraction, but that's possibly a life long pathology by now IMO). I am forever thankful for Marian's willingness to educate me at a time when D and I really needed it.


Amusing event for the week:  I got a call from the barn manager early yesterday morning on my cell and promptly panicked (having just read a lovely study on Nitrate poisoning complete with graphic photos). As it turns out she was calling to give me a bit of amusing info. Diego has been introduced to his handicapped herd, but so far they have yet to accept him. There is an evil little pony who attacks everyone (horses and humans alike) who has it out for Diego. Diego finally decided somehow that the pony suddenly held no threat over him anymore and promptly turned his butt to the pony and shot him a "talk to the tail" look. Said pony was so distraught by this that he ran himself around the entire turn out area. I'm sure his ego was greatly damaged by this. I was told Diego had taken up trotting a little with the foals. I couldn't be happier for him... finally... progress!

New Beginnings... Again

The week has come to a slow and steady closing, and I've found myself mulling over things in the late afternoons on my drive to see Diego.

I was thinking about this blog the other day, thinking what I originally wanted to accomplish with it, and how that has taken a long, windy detour.

In 2010 and 2011 I got a hint... a taste at training 'high school' dressage, with an older, cynical horse. I got a taste of a better relationship - a soulful partnership and a couple big lessons in humility and ego reduction.

2011 & 2012 were more about me, in an odd sense. Granted Diego was still in the picture, but being sick and constantly in rehab put the burden on me to be the protector/advocate/caretaker. This has drawn on every fiber of my emotional and physical being. I have sat and cried, screamed, shamefully had complete temper tantrums, and laid in bed with the awful guilt and crushing depression that comes from growing angry and resentful at the very being you are trying to save from death...  Everything in my life, EVERYTHING has taken a backseat to him since August 2011. Finances have dwindled down to nothing and I find myself struggling even now to get my head above water. A somewhat harsh way for Fate to force me to grow up, but effective none the less. I have come so far in my ability to care-take and be a confident advocate. We just switched barns, again (yes we're both getting tired of this) and I recently reflected on old emails to our old barn owner. I was a totally different person last January. So many unknowns, and so indecisive in the face of uncertainty. I had significant trouble holding my own against the judgement, opinions and also honest questions of others, I spent excessive amounts of time verbally mulling over Diego's various conditions, possible solutions, etc. and quite frankly confused alot of people in the process! I've learned how to better convey information now, as well as how frequently I need to reevaluate processes and situations for profitable results. I'm not the shaky, scared person I was a year ago, cautiously looking for a better year: I didn't get one anyway. I got a year of all NEW problems, 2 medical crashes etc. on top of the same 'ol issues we were already dealing with. Now however, I'm done with holding my breath and crossing my fingers in hopes more bad things don't happen. I've decided that bad things will happen: and when they do [this] is what I'm going to do about it - and that's that. For everything else? There's a little blue pill that starts with and F ~ I can take a good dose of that.  ;)

So aside from getting a firm boot to the rear by Fate along the road of growth... did I mention how much I've learned?

• In a year's time I've done a 7 month apprenticeship under a local barefoot trimmer, with aspirations to start my own business. 

• I'm also completing my first class on equine nutrition, with aspirations to do nutrition on the side.

I've learned SO much through this struggle, mostly out of necessity, but somewhere along the way my interest was peaked too. The barn manager at our new barn told me lastnight "We have a woman coming with another Insulin Resistant horse! I'm going to give her your name and number - she says she just doesn't know what to do, what to feed etc. I told her I know just the person she should talk to."
I remain surprised and even humbled today thinking about it. It wasn't so long ago that I was the one uncertain, scared, frustrated... needing my questions answered.



I think here would be a good place to put a plug for the group that helped me get through the darkest parts of Diego's disease and recovery:
Dr. Eleanor Kellon & Robin Siskel's group for Cushings and Insulin Resistant horses:
http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/EquineCushings/
Through this group I also met another woman locally with a similar story to myself and Diego. Her support has meant the world to me when I felt like nobody else understood how hard this battle can be.


So here's to 2013... another new beginning. Hopefully this time, we're on the way to being better than ever!

Red Dragon is Sick :(

Every time I think about chronicling my journey with Diego, inevitably I’m not around a computer. My computer usage is down these days anyway, as is my ability to write coherently.

For the past 10 months now I’ve been overloaded with the care taking responsibilities that Diego requires. Long story short – last August he got laminitis, and that was only the beginning. I started a journey to try and get this horse back to his TRUE nature, mentally and physically. It’s been a huge puzzle but we have made significant strides toward a healthier body for Diego. He is Cushings it turns out, and that has slowly been destroying muscle and soft tissue in his body for years and weakening his immune system. That was a big part of the puzzle and the driving factor behind his laminitis episode.

The rest of my long, dramatic journey that fall was not so interesting. It included the constant struggle of me trying to get D’s symptoms under control (by controlling his diet & environment) and dealing with moving barns TWICE and the judgment of horse owners who disagreed with my methods for treating Diego. 

I’m happy to report that we moved to someone’s backyard on 5 acres. We’re now pretty relaxed and happy again (D has a girlfriend named Sadie). Now I’m trying to simplify my life again, and do damage control on our relationship. I became a very angry, very stressed, unpleasant person to be around with Diego over the months we were going through all this. Miraculously he stuck with me through it, but there is a defensive layer of mistrust that has formed between us again and it really bothers me (mostly because I know the fault is with me).

Yesterday, I took the time out to drag a lawn chair out into the yard and sit, holding D’s leadrope under the shade trees for awhile. He sniffed me, checked in so to speak and then went to dozing. I think he was in pain (long story, his hooves are sore and he pulled a muscle 2 weeks ago), but he seemed happier to stand than to be walking elsewhere with me. I can only hope some part of him remembers sitting with me all the time in that little shed barn at our old place.

A Second Look at Teeth

I said recently I'd catch up on subjects that haunted Diego and myself through this grueling winter... one of the 3 major subjects is teeth. I hesitated to write much about it since most people are fairly educated nowdays about having their horses teeth done, but then again I thought maybe my few lightbulb moments might help someone else along the way.

During an ordinary vet check up I had D's teeth floated in November, before the cold set in. I was pleased to see that it's becoming popular to use an electric machine/rasp now instead of just using a hand rasp (I have seen way too many vets get tired & make mistakes or jab horses to the point of major bleeding with old methods). I was also pleased to get to watch and see that the hooks were taken down.

So by December when Diego started dropping some serious weight I immediately blamed the food.  Not enough hay (which was true but another story), not enough calories, etc. I struggled the rest of the winter with what I saw as severe weight issues in Diego. Using the Body Condition Scoring system I'd say he hovered around a 3.
As you might guess the food was only part of the problem.
   By March during Diego's 2nd or 3rd adjustment, the chiropractor noted lots of extra inflammation & soreness in his jaw and poll areas. Not 3 days later D choked on his (thoroughly soaked) beet pulp. I was able to dislodge it, but 3 days after that he choked AGAIN and I had to call the vet, talk it over and finally administer Banamine to him. I'm very lucky that's all it took, I've seen a horse tubed and I'll never forget it. I emailed my chiro asking if the soreness could have contributed to improper chewing and she said possibly and referred me to a dentist she trusted. (Tim Cherry, in the FL area)
Here is an older brochure from his practice - 

I called him and we met the first week of April. I'd been pulling the beet pulp from Diego's diet and super-soaking every bit of food in utter paranoia. Tim's a very nice man, and looked D over, asked some in depth questions and went to work, explaining and showing as he went.



After quite awhile of working and balancing things out this is what he had to say:

- Despite the fact that the hooks had been floated off the edges of the teeth, Diego had "ramps" still. Meaning if you were to look at the molars from the side the beginning molars and ending molars would both curve UP to form a ramp instead of a straight line as they should. This caused HUGE problems chewing, as the top and bottom teeth couldn't meet properly to grind!
- Further, Diego's incisors were not touched. They were still quite long, and their length versus the shorter length of the molars created yet another imbalance in Diego's mouth and ability to chew.
- He described the horse as having 3 points of "balance" in their skull: The TMJ joint near the poll (surprise surprise), the seat of the molars, and the place where the incisors meet.

Since the middle point was unbalanced it made it harder on the TMJ joint particularly when functioning. He also said that horses need to be able to chew their food into 1/16th of an inch particles to be able to properly digest them! He mentioned if you're seeing whole grains in their manure (I had been seeing oats), chances are something is not allowing them to chew properly.

Wow...
I have to say since then Diego has been chewing very efficiently and has been gaining weight by leaps and bounds. The dentist recommended a dental check every 9 months for horses in light work, so we'll be seeing him again this next winter. I hate to rag on the local vets, but I am just not having alot of success with many in my area currently as far as the health of my horse. This cements yet again the need to do your research and have some idea about the issue at hand while you oversee professional work, and though they're more expensive consider that specialists often can get the job done correctly, the first time. Good recommendations from trusted, forward thinking horse people are worth their weight in gold.

Small Victories

It seems like only yesterday when I read through my horse diaries (online and offline), I was complaining about the disconnect between myself and Diego. Then on the other hand it seems like a thousand years ago...

I haven't had to go out and "catch" Diego this whole week. Despite my conversations with another boarder over the horses general clingyness in winter, changing to disinterest in humans by spring/summer with the coming of fresh grass and lots of sunlight: Diego is still meeting me at the gate. There are times he actually trots even... especially if he's alert already. All I have to do is call and emphatically prance in place and he breaks into a trot to meet me at the gate. Our extensive, repetitive work on haltering (using clicker training) has made the "catching" process and ritual he looks forward to. I usually open the gate and let him through without the halter, into the catch pen and then close the gate behind him. He's so entrenched in our routine that he goes through and turns around to wait for me, then starts reaching for the halter. He knows as soon as the halter goes on = click + treat and he arches his neck and poses accordingly.

I find it rather amusing actually... considering the barn owner tends to think my giving of treats equals a bribe or poor training. I know that's a common belief...

My goal last year was to make the greeting & haltering process more enjoyable for Diego. Plain and simple. He has never been hard to catch, but the disinterest and half hearted mental connection with me due to a forced haltering usually carried on in our work together during the course of a training day. I felt discouraged. I made the decision to make haltering rewarding and pleasant instead of demanding and "Ok hurry up, I have stuff to do." It has paid off beyond belief... He's happy to greet me and eager to be haltered and begin our interaction, and for me it caused me to shift mentally from "Uhg let me halter you and drag you back to the barn" to "Oh hello! Look how pretty and happy you are! Glad to see me?" he loves to impress with his neck arching and whuffling.

I'm sure plenty of horses will respond similarly to haltering without clicker training or even a treat - but this is what it took to bring a shut-down, formerly man-handled, cynical 20+ year old gelding out of his shell. It changed him thoroughly. I wish the barn owner, and accordingly others who judge this sort of thing, could look deeper and see the small victories achieved. This is a big milestone for us.


Likewise training has been good this week. I'm not asking alot right now because he had a chiropractor adjustment Sunday, so he had a few days off at the beginning of the week. I think the lack of heavy-impact work (riding) and the abundance of in-hand work at the walk without pressuring him into a stiff, uncomfortable trot have caused him to feel really good, and it shows in his attitude. This can be annoying sometimes - when he's feeling good he often forgets manners and tries to crowd, nip (for play), and snatch objects out of my hands (whip, lead, bag etc.). Some people may question my sanity on allowing some of this, but it is a gradual process for us. I know my horse, we've been together 15 years. I had to invite him out of his shell in his entirety (the good, the bad and the ugly), before I begin to teach and shape what he shows me.
He had to know "It's ok, just be yourself."


I've neglected to update after all the recent events we've been through: vets, chiropractors, feed changes & dentists. I am most definitely broke! I'm paying for mistakes made earlier in his ownership though, through ignorance. He's gone a long time with some injuries and health issues I didn't know about because I never bothered to check. Look for an update soon... as well as an update on my treeless saddle I've been fitting to him!