Busy, Set-Back, Busy, Busy

Oops. I didn't mean to leave the entire month of October barren here...
The good news is it was almost exclusively taken up by RIDING! Woooooo!


In re-cap, we really made some progress last month:

•  We hit the 1hr ride mark regularly, Diego's fitness and stamina is definitely improving. 

• While I expressed doubts about hill-work here, it's pretty much unavoidable at our current barn unless you want to be confined to a hard-packed clay arena, and my opinion has changed on the subject. He's having considerably less trouble with hill now, than he did at Jamie's. We've even tried some steep ones, just for kicks (and working on MY seat and stability!). The only time I notice a real problem with him and hills is when he's feeling ulcery: he tends to be very reluctant and slow going downhill. Obviously I don't do them when he's not feeling well.

• We explored the canter a bit more. I had to kind of "find myself" again, as my old dressage-style seat no longer works to sit a canter (not with a tailbone problem). So taking my cantle off my saddle and employing a light "saddle grazing" seat with a slightly forward tilted pelvis has been a big improvement. Now we're working on Diego "finding himself". I find that he doesn't quite know where his canter speed really is - is it on the forehand speeding like a rocket into oblivion while fighting the reins? Is it a slow, rocking lazy thing that he falls out of at the slightest hint? He's done both and we can't seem to find a happy medium. He did hit what felt like a decent canter occasionally but I admit I pulled him up out of it from feeling scared. It was a bit too forward and powerful for my tastes at the time, despite it being pretty balanced.

• I'm getting my riding muscles back! While not strong by any means, I'm not waking up barely able to move in the mornings.  Part of the shift has been to stop trying to grip with my thighs so hard (a natural defense mechanism for me), mostly due to the fact that I ride in a Ghost saddle now...  Because of Diego's back I have to put a Cashel wedge pad up in there to lift the front gullet off his spine, but this adds more unwanted bulk in what would normally be the twist area. Instead of sitting on an A-frame shape I'm basically sitting on a barrel with my upper thighs - yeah good luck gripping THAT!

Things were going just swimmingly. I was totally ready to grab a hold of a friend and do our first trail-out trail ride...


Then Halloween happened.


Diego and his crew had been turned out 16+hrs on a roundbale of hay for most of the month. This experiment was going well, more turnout, more hay etc. The problem was that I couldn't test EVERY roundbale before it was put out for them, the cost and analysis time were prohibitive. So after the first test of a batch of them came back safe, I made the risky assumption that subsequent batches would be safe if from the same cutting. This isn't always the smartest decision when dealing with an IR horse.
    Needless to say we finally encountered a bale that was high enough sugar to cause a problem for Diego the day before Halloween (he had been on it 2-3 days). The poor guy had laminitis and felt terrible, so we pulled him off the hay and set up another regiment for him. I'm happy to say that with trigger (hay) removal, pain management (Microlactin), and inflammation control (short course of NSAIDS, hosing and light walking), he snapped out of it within 3 days.

I gave him 2 weeks off, carefully watching for any signs of change in his hooves (collateral groove depth changing, hairline changes etc.). After 2 weeks of him being perfectly normal, if not a bit of a handful I cautiously decided to start riding on soft ground again. (we're still bootless ATM)

I think he's ok, aside from an annoying battle with mild ulcers that we're treating. He's ok soaked hay, which as an added benefit is getting more water in him during the cold weather. I'm breathing a sigh of relief now - but it's not without a price (*I* have an ulcer now from all the stress, uuuhhgg).

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Moving forward in November, my main goals are starting him back gently and working on stamina - long and slow. We were going full speed by the end of October and honestly I wasn't seeing much topline growth (he was also on some major muscle supplements). I think relaxation and proper use of muscles is a big thing with him and he is most definitely not a relaxed horse when doing anything other than a walk! He doesn't feel tense, per se, but he's never that easy, rhythmic cadence either. A lot of his suspension has been lost to forward movement and I need to put that in check. (even as much as I hate his bouncy trot)


I've got a few ideas in mind for schooling, so when I report back we'll see if they're working.

Can't believe it's a month and a half till the new year... *head shake* Fhew!

New Beginnings... Again

The week has come to a slow and steady closing, and I've found myself mulling over things in the late afternoons on my drive to see Diego.

I was thinking about this blog the other day, thinking what I originally wanted to accomplish with it, and how that has taken a long, windy detour.

In 2010 and 2011 I got a hint... a taste at training 'high school' dressage, with an older, cynical horse. I got a taste of a better relationship - a soulful partnership and a couple big lessons in humility and ego reduction.

2011 & 2012 were more about me, in an odd sense. Granted Diego was still in the picture, but being sick and constantly in rehab put the burden on me to be the protector/advocate/caretaker. This has drawn on every fiber of my emotional and physical being. I have sat and cried, screamed, shamefully had complete temper tantrums, and laid in bed with the awful guilt and crushing depression that comes from growing angry and resentful at the very being you are trying to save from death...  Everything in my life, EVERYTHING has taken a backseat to him since August 2011. Finances have dwindled down to nothing and I find myself struggling even now to get my head above water. A somewhat harsh way for Fate to force me to grow up, but effective none the less. I have come so far in my ability to care-take and be a confident advocate. We just switched barns, again (yes we're both getting tired of this) and I recently reflected on old emails to our old barn owner. I was a totally different person last January. So many unknowns, and so indecisive in the face of uncertainty. I had significant trouble holding my own against the judgement, opinions and also honest questions of others, I spent excessive amounts of time verbally mulling over Diego's various conditions, possible solutions, etc. and quite frankly confused alot of people in the process! I've learned how to better convey information now, as well as how frequently I need to reevaluate processes and situations for profitable results. I'm not the shaky, scared person I was a year ago, cautiously looking for a better year: I didn't get one anyway. I got a year of all NEW problems, 2 medical crashes etc. on top of the same 'ol issues we were already dealing with. Now however, I'm done with holding my breath and crossing my fingers in hopes more bad things don't happen. I've decided that bad things will happen: and when they do [this] is what I'm going to do about it - and that's that. For everything else? There's a little blue pill that starts with and F ~ I can take a good dose of that.  ;)

So aside from getting a firm boot to the rear by Fate along the road of growth... did I mention how much I've learned?

• In a year's time I've done a 7 month apprenticeship under a local barefoot trimmer, with aspirations to start my own business. 

• I'm also completing my first class on equine nutrition, with aspirations to do nutrition on the side.

I've learned SO much through this struggle, mostly out of necessity, but somewhere along the way my interest was peaked too. The barn manager at our new barn told me lastnight "We have a woman coming with another Insulin Resistant horse! I'm going to give her your name and number - she says she just doesn't know what to do, what to feed etc. I told her I know just the person she should talk to."
I remain surprised and even humbled today thinking about it. It wasn't so long ago that I was the one uncertain, scared, frustrated... needing my questions answered.



I think here would be a good place to put a plug for the group that helped me get through the darkest parts of Diego's disease and recovery:
Dr. Eleanor Kellon & Robin Siskel's group for Cushings and Insulin Resistant horses:
http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/EquineCushings/
Through this group I also met another woman locally with a similar story to myself and Diego. Her support has meant the world to me when I felt like nobody else understood how hard this battle can be.


So here's to 2013... another new beginning. Hopefully this time, we're on the way to being better than ever!