2013 ~ Reviewed

Well then...  who'd have ever thought we'd have come as far as we have in a single year?

Who'd have ever thought I'd get to take a starlight ride on Christmas Eve with Diego this year? Galloping recklessly through a field to burn off excess energy... freezing our noses off simultaneously!
Who'd have thought I'd be able to point him at a fence (a small one of course) and have him leap it like a champ, with plenty of room to spare?
Who'd have thought I'd be able to go more than a week without hoof issues and a lethargic horse?
Amazing, really.


The beginning of the year really started out horribly. On New Years day I was at the barn in the pouring rain calming an upset horse who kept running through the fence, while my boyfriend helped fix said fence. :/ Not great memories.

February brought a new barn, new acquaintances and all-around new experiences. I hate moving, I hate leaving people I know for situations and people I don't know. I hate starting over. The good news was that Diego made friends quickly and 'settled down" into a happy horse, promptly surpassing my expectations.                                     

March and April brought some struggles with weight and metabolic management - usually involving hay and hay tests. We battled hoof inflammation and pain, along with plenty of rain rot (despite a great diet) and the effects of warming temps. And clippers that refused to work...
                                                              
                                                                

May and June really settled down and for the first time in a long time I had real hope. We were riding again!                                                        
                                                                   

July was the turning point when I started to see my old horse come back. He was FIT and FIESTY! And I was horribly UNfit and desperately needed to workout!
                                                                       

August got bumpy right before vacation. I delayed too long in raising his medication for PPID and the hormonal seasonal rise started to undo our hard work: he got ulcers and his muscle began wasting again. September I played 'clean up crew' for that little mess.

October and November came out well, despite a 2 week hiccup due to a laminitis bout. We worked our collective rear off! I saw little muscular improvement in comparison with my expectations, but I kept at it despite.                                       

December wrapped everything up so nicely. Despite record cold temps, D stayed stable health-wise and we kept working. Muscle FINALLY has started filling in his topline and rump. I was told that random visitors to the barn who are often looking for a horse to buy, stopped at his stall asking about him. Even the DQ wife of our vet took an interest...

                                                                   

Yay! Christmas horsie! (or Krampus, your choice ;p )

I can't even begin to say how relieved I am to see him happy and healthy again. It really is incredible...  Here's to hoping 2014 is just as good for us!

Happy New Year, All

I'm shocked and thrilled at what we've been able to accomplish, but I'm also chafing under the burden of new responsibilities. Riding again means fitness goals, and fitness goals means finding time and space to ride when I'd really rather do something else - rain - shine - wind - sleet - even sick.
    It also means Diego tends to resent me more, there are many days he doesn't want to work anymore than I do. This is something I really wish I could fix.. I can't say I blame him. This is the one disconnect between horses and humans that I really hate: the ability to look forward into the future: to plan and to guesstimate. I know what will happen if he loses the condition we've worked so hard to build - he doesn't. I know he will be more stiff and his arthritis will get worse if we don't move enough - he doesn't. If he had his way he'd prefer his face stuck in a high-sugar roundbale of hay 24/7 in a small crew of mixed-sex horses that he could boss around any way that he saw fit. Hmmm... yeah. Not gonna happen hun, sorry.
Still though - I wish I could find a nicer kinder way to bring him around on those days when we have to work.

I've been thinking about moving forward this next year - what do I ultimately want for us both? I can come up with a lot of things *I* want, but I really need to sit down and think about some goals for bettering Diego - not just for me, but for himself, to make him happier.

One idea I've been punting around in my head for the last week is his insecurity and herd-bound issues. It occurs to me that this has been a problem for a long time, and a very serious one. Now I will continue to do what I can to be a trustworthy partner, in hopes that he might relax into my guardianship (we really should have eachother's backs when we're out alone so much), but I'd like to find some way to build his own confidence so that he's able to trust himself a little more too. In short: I think his world has grown too small. Experience, although sometimes stressful is the only way to really test yourself in the 'alone' department. I'd really like to concentrate on enlarging his world this next year...  this means getting out and seeing the world: going places, doing things together.

Some ideas:

• Visit horsey-friends places!
  So far this has been difficult because it relies on other people's time and resources too (I have no trailer), but I'll keep trying. A short day visit I think would help him greatly.
• Trails! Trails! Trails!
  A definite goal. We need to test our meddle out on the open trails to better assess fitness and emotional stability (Does he have any? Can he handle being left behind without throwing me? etc.). From there we'll know what we have to work on.
• Social gatherings
  Whether it be a small schooling show, a big group trail ride or even signing up for a hunter pace (something remotely long-ish as prep for LD rides). Anything to expose him to the good 'ol hustle and bustle of other horses and humans again.

Busy, Set-Back, Busy, Busy

Oops. I didn't mean to leave the entire month of October barren here...
The good news is it was almost exclusively taken up by RIDING! Woooooo!


In re-cap, we really made some progress last month:

•  We hit the 1hr ride mark regularly, Diego's fitness and stamina is definitely improving. 

• While I expressed doubts about hill-work here, it's pretty much unavoidable at our current barn unless you want to be confined to a hard-packed clay arena, and my opinion has changed on the subject. He's having considerably less trouble with hill now, than he did at Jamie's. We've even tried some steep ones, just for kicks (and working on MY seat and stability!). The only time I notice a real problem with him and hills is when he's feeling ulcery: he tends to be very reluctant and slow going downhill. Obviously I don't do them when he's not feeling well.

• We explored the canter a bit more. I had to kind of "find myself" again, as my old dressage-style seat no longer works to sit a canter (not with a tailbone problem). So taking my cantle off my saddle and employing a light "saddle grazing" seat with a slightly forward tilted pelvis has been a big improvement. Now we're working on Diego "finding himself". I find that he doesn't quite know where his canter speed really is - is it on the forehand speeding like a rocket into oblivion while fighting the reins? Is it a slow, rocking lazy thing that he falls out of at the slightest hint? He's done both and we can't seem to find a happy medium. He did hit what felt like a decent canter occasionally but I admit I pulled him up out of it from feeling scared. It was a bit too forward and powerful for my tastes at the time, despite it being pretty balanced.

• I'm getting my riding muscles back! While not strong by any means, I'm not waking up barely able to move in the mornings.  Part of the shift has been to stop trying to grip with my thighs so hard (a natural defense mechanism for me), mostly due to the fact that I ride in a Ghost saddle now...  Because of Diego's back I have to put a Cashel wedge pad up in there to lift the front gullet off his spine, but this adds more unwanted bulk in what would normally be the twist area. Instead of sitting on an A-frame shape I'm basically sitting on a barrel with my upper thighs - yeah good luck gripping THAT!

Things were going just swimmingly. I was totally ready to grab a hold of a friend and do our first trail-out trail ride...


Then Halloween happened.


Diego and his crew had been turned out 16+hrs on a roundbale of hay for most of the month. This experiment was going well, more turnout, more hay etc. The problem was that I couldn't test EVERY roundbale before it was put out for them, the cost and analysis time were prohibitive. So after the first test of a batch of them came back safe, I made the risky assumption that subsequent batches would be safe if from the same cutting. This isn't always the smartest decision when dealing with an IR horse.
    Needless to say we finally encountered a bale that was high enough sugar to cause a problem for Diego the day before Halloween (he had been on it 2-3 days). The poor guy had laminitis and felt terrible, so we pulled him off the hay and set up another regiment for him. I'm happy to say that with trigger (hay) removal, pain management (Microlactin), and inflammation control (short course of NSAIDS, hosing and light walking), he snapped out of it within 3 days.

I gave him 2 weeks off, carefully watching for any signs of change in his hooves (collateral groove depth changing, hairline changes etc.). After 2 weeks of him being perfectly normal, if not a bit of a handful I cautiously decided to start riding on soft ground again. (we're still bootless ATM)

I think he's ok, aside from an annoying battle with mild ulcers that we're treating. He's ok soaked hay, which as an added benefit is getting more water in him during the cold weather. I'm breathing a sigh of relief now - but it's not without a price (*I* have an ulcer now from all the stress, uuuhhgg).

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Moving forward in November, my main goals are starting him back gently and working on stamina - long and slow. We were going full speed by the end of October and honestly I wasn't seeing much topline growth (he was also on some major muscle supplements). I think relaxation and proper use of muscles is a big thing with him and he is most definitely not a relaxed horse when doing anything other than a walk! He doesn't feel tense, per se, but he's never that easy, rhythmic cadence either. A lot of his suspension has been lost to forward movement and I need to put that in check. (even as much as I hate his bouncy trot)


I've got a few ideas in mind for schooling, so when I report back we'll see if they're working.

Can't believe it's a month and a half till the new year... *head shake* Fhew!

Optimistic

So here we are, in the very beginnings of fall. I came back from my yearly vacation and my driveway already has reddish brown leaves littering the pavement. I admittedly love summer more than anything, so the beginnings of fall are always a little sad for me. (I know, I'm weird!)

I don't think I could have imagined being at an 'ok' place in Diego's rehab last year at this time. The stresses of various events kept me from seeing very far into the future for so long. Yet, here we are, riding around - constantly active - a year later! I need not take for granted getting on his back and heading off for a ride. Never again.
 Last year at this time he was fresh out of a very bad laminitic attack and could barely walk. It was a solid 1.5 months before I even saw him willingly trot. :(
This year he is trotting around his drylot (albiet carefully because of the hard ground), mounting mares, cantering down barn aisles etc. He's absolutely full of himself. ;)


I will touch breifly on a few of the things we've been battling in August up till now though for catch up:

•  Thrush!

 I hate it, nasty stuff. I believe I mentioned being frustrated about Diego loosing some robustness in his frogs due to being stalled more than I would like nowdays. It finally occurred to me that part of the problem however, was thrush eating away at what had been healthy tissue. Apple Cider Vinegar wasn't touching it this time, and I'm out of my trusty Resolve spray - so I resorted to soaks. Lysol (diluted) to be exact. I made sure it was very mild and then stuck soaking boots on him for a good 20 minutes for 5 days straight. I was pretty pleased with the result - before I left on vacation his frogs had shed some nasty little flaps and grown harder and less "mushy" with the daily soaks and the occasional scraping black tissue away with a knife.

BTW, check this site out for tips on treating thrush. Linda Cowles has alot of useful resources!

•   PPID (Cushings) Seasonal Rise

Just another reason for me to be apprehensive about fall: it's the hardest time of the year for Cushings horses. Recent research has shown a documented (and in PPID - exaggerated) fall rise of the ACTH hormone which is heavily involved in the disease. Plain and simple this means that I will see more negative effects of Diego's disease from late Aug through Nov/Dec. The very first year he was diagnosed the biggest symptom was laminitis - worst case scenario. Other very typical symptoms include:

-More muscle wasting over topline, neck and ribs (appearance of weight loss)
-Large scale stubborn rainrot infections (back, butt - large areas)
-General lethargy
-Occasional symptoms like foot sensitivity and gastric ulcers (these don't always happen)

As you can see, it's a basket full of kittens to deal with this mess when the weather is getting cooler and all you really want to do is go outside and trail ride! Yuck...  I'm sure Diego feels similarly.

In our case though there is a key to battling the SR - I increase his medication through December. We did this last year and it really helped him remain perky and happy, despite recovering from severe laminitis. I remember by November he was a hot-aires-above-the-ground-MESS.  ;)
So this year I started increasing, but I think it was a bit late: I was already seeing sudden back muscle wasting in late August - I should have caught it sooner. After returning from vacation Tuesday I found him in an excellent mood. He seems to be doing quite well.


So with all of that said - we're back to where we began at the top of my post - a good place! My hopeful plan for the fall is to start serious trail riding. I met a new local friend over the summer who has volunteered to trailer me over to her place for rides, and another friend just bought a home in the mountains of north Georgia (complete with guest room - HAH!) so we may be traveling up there too!!! So much to do and see!


Stay tuned...

Hooves and Recovery

Today I'm doing some light reading - which is including materials on various trim methods. This is a weekly if not daily thing for me lately. I've learned so much since this blog started that I have trouble putting it all into words.

Diego's hooves have undergone an onslaught of assaults from various sources for over a year now, and we find ourselves this week - sitting on the 6 month anniversary of his most recent (and worst) laminitic attack. I am clinging rigidly and (understandably) desperately to all dietary and environmental restrictions to keep D from having another attack right now - but as the months creep by and we finally start to see progress through the dreary daily routine: I have finally started to feel a little more hope. 

We're 6 months out and this time, for sure, I am confident that we have good hoof form. As good as it can get really. I haven't had the money for Xays in a year now, so I've had to wing-it by just reading the external hoof signs as well as I can. I constantly scrutinize his sole, his gait and measure the collateral grooves, looking for more depth. The last and most frustrating piece to fall in place has been his soundness. His last event in August left him barely able to drag himself from the paddock to the grooming area and back. Boots and pads only made it moderately better. It was horrible to watch him have so much pain just walking... 

 We made huge strides (har har) though, and by November he was comfortable - trotting, galloping and bucking with his girlfriend. It was a sight to see! December brought cold nights though, and with  his damaged vascular system in his lower legs & feet started giving him issues. He had significant amounts of pain, his legs stocked up from not moving all day long (due to hoof pain) etc. I added some dietary supplements to help - but nothing is a cure. It's still just as cold out now in February, but at the new facility D is kept in at night (not ideal to me but the lesser of several evils I was faced with in moving him), where the temperature is consistently 10 degrees warmer than the outdoors. Guess what... no leg swelling! No owwie hooves with warm coronary bands! YAY! 

Try as I might to provide Diego with a more 'natural' lifestyle, it's becoming increasingly apparent that certain domestic 'comforts' are needed to give him the ability to live a decent life after the Cushings hammered away at his body unchecked for 5 years and laminitis ravaged the blood vessels in his hooves. So far this has included blanketing, wrapping the legs and being stabled at night. So I continue down this road of discovery: hopefully with less judgement about "right and wrong" horse management and attached dogma.  >.>'

Ok...  so maybe this wasn't as much about hooves as I'd intended to write. ;p
I just reread the first post on this blog from 2010 discussing his hooves. What a long way we have come! Few if any of the problems we faced then haunt us now (except heel contraction, but that's possibly a life long pathology by now IMO). I am forever thankful for Marian's willingness to educate me at a time when D and I really needed it.


Amusing event for the week:  I got a call from the barn manager early yesterday morning on my cell and promptly panicked (having just read a lovely study on Nitrate poisoning complete with graphic photos). As it turns out she was calling to give me a bit of amusing info. Diego has been introduced to his handicapped herd, but so far they have yet to accept him. There is an evil little pony who attacks everyone (horses and humans alike) who has it out for Diego. Diego finally decided somehow that the pony suddenly held no threat over him anymore and promptly turned his butt to the pony and shot him a "talk to the tail" look. Said pony was so distraught by this that he ran himself around the entire turn out area. I'm sure his ego was greatly damaged by this. I was told Diego had taken up trotting a little with the foals. I couldn't be happier for him... finally... progress!

New Beginnings... Again

The week has come to a slow and steady closing, and I've found myself mulling over things in the late afternoons on my drive to see Diego.

I was thinking about this blog the other day, thinking what I originally wanted to accomplish with it, and how that has taken a long, windy detour.

In 2010 and 2011 I got a hint... a taste at training 'high school' dressage, with an older, cynical horse. I got a taste of a better relationship - a soulful partnership and a couple big lessons in humility and ego reduction.

2011 & 2012 were more about me, in an odd sense. Granted Diego was still in the picture, but being sick and constantly in rehab put the burden on me to be the protector/advocate/caretaker. This has drawn on every fiber of my emotional and physical being. I have sat and cried, screamed, shamefully had complete temper tantrums, and laid in bed with the awful guilt and crushing depression that comes from growing angry and resentful at the very being you are trying to save from death...  Everything in my life, EVERYTHING has taken a backseat to him since August 2011. Finances have dwindled down to nothing and I find myself struggling even now to get my head above water. A somewhat harsh way for Fate to force me to grow up, but effective none the less. I have come so far in my ability to care-take and be a confident advocate. We just switched barns, again (yes we're both getting tired of this) and I recently reflected on old emails to our old barn owner. I was a totally different person last January. So many unknowns, and so indecisive in the face of uncertainty. I had significant trouble holding my own against the judgement, opinions and also honest questions of others, I spent excessive amounts of time verbally mulling over Diego's various conditions, possible solutions, etc. and quite frankly confused alot of people in the process! I've learned how to better convey information now, as well as how frequently I need to reevaluate processes and situations for profitable results. I'm not the shaky, scared person I was a year ago, cautiously looking for a better year: I didn't get one anyway. I got a year of all NEW problems, 2 medical crashes etc. on top of the same 'ol issues we were already dealing with. Now however, I'm done with holding my breath and crossing my fingers in hopes more bad things don't happen. I've decided that bad things will happen: and when they do [this] is what I'm going to do about it - and that's that. For everything else? There's a little blue pill that starts with and F ~ I can take a good dose of that.  ;)

So aside from getting a firm boot to the rear by Fate along the road of growth... did I mention how much I've learned?

• In a year's time I've done a 7 month apprenticeship under a local barefoot trimmer, with aspirations to start my own business. 

• I'm also completing my first class on equine nutrition, with aspirations to do nutrition on the side.

I've learned SO much through this struggle, mostly out of necessity, but somewhere along the way my interest was peaked too. The barn manager at our new barn told me lastnight "We have a woman coming with another Insulin Resistant horse! I'm going to give her your name and number - she says she just doesn't know what to do, what to feed etc. I told her I know just the person she should talk to."
I remain surprised and even humbled today thinking about it. It wasn't so long ago that I was the one uncertain, scared, frustrated... needing my questions answered.



I think here would be a good place to put a plug for the group that helped me get through the darkest parts of Diego's disease and recovery:
Dr. Eleanor Kellon & Robin Siskel's group for Cushings and Insulin Resistant horses:
http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/EquineCushings/
Through this group I also met another woman locally with a similar story to myself and Diego. Her support has meant the world to me when I felt like nobody else understood how hard this battle can be.


So here's to 2013... another new beginning. Hopefully this time, we're on the way to being better than ever!

Red Dragon is Sick :(

Every time I think about chronicling my journey with Diego, inevitably I’m not around a computer. My computer usage is down these days anyway, as is my ability to write coherently.

For the past 10 months now I’ve been overloaded with the care taking responsibilities that Diego requires. Long story short – last August he got laminitis, and that was only the beginning. I started a journey to try and get this horse back to his TRUE nature, mentally and physically. It’s been a huge puzzle but we have made significant strides toward a healthier body for Diego. He is Cushings it turns out, and that has slowly been destroying muscle and soft tissue in his body for years and weakening his immune system. That was a big part of the puzzle and the driving factor behind his laminitis episode.

The rest of my long, dramatic journey that fall was not so interesting. It included the constant struggle of me trying to get D’s symptoms under control (by controlling his diet & environment) and dealing with moving barns TWICE and the judgment of horse owners who disagreed with my methods for treating Diego. 

I’m happy to report that we moved to someone’s backyard on 5 acres. We’re now pretty relaxed and happy again (D has a girlfriend named Sadie). Now I’m trying to simplify my life again, and do damage control on our relationship. I became a very angry, very stressed, unpleasant person to be around with Diego over the months we were going through all this. Miraculously he stuck with me through it, but there is a defensive layer of mistrust that has formed between us again and it really bothers me (mostly because I know the fault is with me).

Yesterday, I took the time out to drag a lawn chair out into the yard and sit, holding D’s leadrope under the shade trees for awhile. He sniffed me, checked in so to speak and then went to dozing. I think he was in pain (long story, his hooves are sore and he pulled a muscle 2 weeks ago), but he seemed happier to stand than to be walking elsewhere with me. I can only hope some part of him remembers sitting with me all the time in that little shed barn at our old place.